Spontaneous Enthusiast

heya! its been a long time!

2006-01-13T09:26:00.000+08:00

hello! been bloggin in another addy! plz visit that blogsite instead.. thanks! plz refer to msn..nick!

matter's closed..

2006-01-02T23:05:00.000+08:00

matter is settled and closed.

my papers start tmr, but im not feeling all that happy.
just feel really down with alot of things, but some matters are finally settled.
than another matter rolls in.

guys are a whole lot of trouble. they can jus affect what u feel so much, there is nothing else you can do. haiz.

im moving my blog i guess. soon, wont be bloggin anymore. or rather, might not even start a new one.

i believe whatever she said is true, but she is not always right. why dig up something from the past. if she wants to indirectly say how good a friend she was, i know she was a very trustful close friend of mine. but does she know that it was a mutual friendship? i did not offend her or anything. to help a friend of yours, you just ended another friendship of yours. do i have a choice? if i do not care about our friendship, then i wouldnt type this paragraph. hope you understand. matter is settled, ask her.

gtg, tc!

back again..

2006-01-01T02:03:00.000+08:00

actually i have more to add, jus that i was a little distracted. ok nvm, me and my reasons. hha...

IM NO LONGER A FRESHIE.. soon! haha.. its my turn to call the new yr 1 poly students frehies.. haha.. few more months later. but im lookin forward. haahahah!! weifeng said tt yr 2, very old already.. haha.. i think we're just one yr more senior. it gives the green light to do more things. haha.. like smoking, drinking, driving. haha... of course, first two i wont commit lah. haha.. also.. m18!! all the cool shows. which i duno why must m18 also. haha.. hrm.. haha

i crossed over to 2006, with just my family. hrm.. im glad ive got such a lively family. unlike .. some other family they are selfish.. and do not let their children out. LYING that they as a family are gg somewhere, and thhen they all end up at home. sleeping through the crossing over! i am fed up. okie.. because, others dont get to enjoy.. 17 yrs old. he needs his space. GIVE IT TO HIM! ergh..

nvm... in 2 more days. my major tests are starting.. haha.. im so dead. but still happy go lucky. i guess, there is nothing much i can do. except study really hard the next two days, so i can get decent grades. haha... which reminds me.. this morning, there was a meeting with the new junior ventures and all.. and all exchanged little information. this guy said, he hoped to get decent grades. i mumbled under my nose tt all he needed to do was study. there was no need to hope. than i realized i also always hope. hahahahahahahahha.. GOD bless me.

hrm.. im rather tired now. worried.. pissed... not with anyone in particular. jus with someone close to my heart. it hurts. felt like coming over to the yr 2006 with him nowhere to be found. msged and msged... time and again.. and?? nothing.. phew..

olright, i better go now. ciao!

BYE BYE 2005 n BIG HELLO TO 2006!!

2006-01-01T01:55:00.000+08:00

Like 1 whole year! 2006 is here, i wouldnt say finally here. its too fast, too fast its scary. haha. how time flies. i feel like i just took my o levels, but it has been over a year. hah..

many things happen, friends came and go... studies gd and bad. many new people, new organizations and new realizations about matters. went to showcases, had new friends. new opportunities. new job. many things. found sense of belonging and many other things.. etc, etc.. haha.. yepp..

jus back from a family car ride. we stopped over at the arts museum carpark and walked to the padang where we were facing the esplanade. yah, there!! also, was the fireworks. NICE!! i took many videos and pictures of it. not very clear, the video was better. haha.. yah!!

okie, i dun dare write resolutions for fear i might not fulfil ANY. bha hahahahahha!! olright, better go.
thanks so much!
sorry to those who msged me with wishes, and i didnt reply. SORRY!
thanks! take care!

i hope it can stop.. sincerely

2005-12-31T18:46:00.000+08:00

first of all.. thank u to all who has helped me on this matter, nurulia, charmaine, michelle, ben.. many more. i really appreciate it. Apologies for getting you guys involved and being bombarded when it didnt have to happen to any one of you.

To wener and jeslyn, i have been keeping silent all these while.. just because i do not want to have any conflicts with you guys. Already, whatever jeslyn blogged a long time ago, 6dec or sumthing, i didnt bother. She announced to whoever reads her blog. that i owe ppl money. Ok, maybe i do. maybe i dont. even if i do, i returned it. like what charmaine said. And i am paying Wanlin soon. I am not a full time working adult. i do not print notes nor produce coins. i cannot do what i am not capable of. Like what i told myself, if i could pay. i would pay. why would i find excuses and stuff like tt? i am not hiding, not scared. because i do not owe anyone. ppl offered to pay for my stuff, i reject. they insist. its not borrowing. its help. from friends. from sisters. and if things turn out to be so ugly. if i had known, i would have declined any help or money.

Wener, its not as if you do not know me. if you think that i am the kind who owes yet do not wanto pay. than i dont think you bothered to be a friend of mine all those years. i confided in you in everything. Even the Michelle matter that happened 4 whole yrs ago. i dont blame you for bringing it up again. but was it necessary? you talk about talking things out. but did you and jeslyn even made an effort to contact me to talk things out? No.. you guys didnt. than how am i suppose to know? what issit that you all want? or believe that i should return?

whoever that tagged, whether in mine tagboard or char's tagboard. whether it was you guys or not, he/she should still be related to you guys. if not he/she wouldnt be bothered to tag. i dont understand how me 'owing' mk and wanlin money become such a big matter than it has to involve the both of you. If you guys sincerely don bother bout the matter. than y? blog bout it, write testimonials about it. y?

Jes, if you do not bother bout the matter. do not bother to rd my blog. than how did u know what i blogged when u shouted at me across the carpark one fine school day? if i shouted at you across the school carpark "yucks, asshole!" what would your natural reaction be? silence? i doubt so. who would take such false assaults?

anybody else who knows about this matter but do not know me, do not judge. because u do not know anything. those who knows me and hears about this matter. which is the true side of the matter? do you know? who is telling the truth? it cannot be determined through entries, tags, testimonials. whatever. God knows.

if i am guilty of anything, i would admit it. i would fear others knowing about it. but no, im not.

For sure i know, I value friendship more than i do for money.

im back..

2005-12-28T13:13:00.000+08:00

hello all, i finally am back from al those holidays. haha.. and ready to start studying. jus still quite tired. haha, i blogged when ah?? issit before i went to cruise? hha, well.. cruise wasnt as much fun this time. was bored most of the time. but appreciated the fact i was there, and looking at the beautiful scenary. haha. went to penang, and patong beach. places where the tsunami one yr ago claimed. there was a certain eerie feeling but i bypassed that. However, at penang, we saw a bloated cow... which looks alot like plastic. four legs up facing the sky. and it was saddening to see it there. DOESNT ANYBODY BOTHER TO CLEAR IT?? last day of cruise, on the way back to singapore. i was pretty sick. i coudnt stand it. stayed and slept in cabin the whole day. i wasnt feeling well. Vomitted many times, through the nose even.. very teruk. almost died. but i survived. haha...

as soon as i came back, i slept. well, that's cause it was already night time. next day, i went to meet Faizal.. yeah!! haha, we had diiner with ruthless, nurulia, fel, fatin fir... yah. it was nice haha.. night time and faizal was there. yups. than it was work and work.. i didnt realy have the time to study. now that i mention my schedule. haha.. xmas eve eve, xmas eve and xmas itself i was working. than it was ECP chalet with whole family. that was fun. haha.. although i was feeling really tired. i managed. my cousins were so funny. jus kept laughing and laughing. it was once in a while that we got to meet up. and thanks to all those whoe msged me to wish me!! THANKS!!!!!!! im sorry i didnt reply though. not in a christmas mood this yr. yeahs.

well. in bb mac now. studyin. but i have started. haha, i jus reached and was on my lappy. haha.. thats why lappies are a distraction. i should log off now. gtg now.

THE HOLIDAYS ARE FINALLY HERE!!!

2005-12-16T08:58:00.000+08:00

okay okay, abit too excited.. hah, but it is like finally here! i can finally.... erhm.. i dun dare to say relax la. cuz i have been relaxing for the past.. half semester! i should condemn myself! SO EVIL.. why is that? for instance, im suppose to be listening to MR TEH YEW SENG now, my PWA teacher.. thats not project work, its java programming. which to me.. SUCKS BIG TIME, and why again?? because its my own fault. havent listen to the lesson since like ancient time.. oke, starting of the lesson. hence, i duno this computer language. which ivan got like TOP for it.. i wonder how he do it .. haha.. smart kid. like i am so old.. ha, i got like 54% for my recent test.. and that is suppose to be.. 30% in my whole final grade. PUKE... that means. only.. 16.1%, jus passed. DU U UNDERSTAND??

i think im not that much the only sinner here. haha.. everybody is blogging. haha.. i am sitted right at the back. and i can seE!! all the computer screens.. like, 1/8 of the population is.. listening to him. haha.. poor man.. but i think he knows and prefer not to bother, if not i think he can dont start teaching already.

hrm.. today is the last day for registering for the OUTRACE organized by TAS of course, haha.. even being a member.. i dun have enough to register. YIKES.. pathetic la..hah. nvm i guess. there is still SURVIVAL challenge..internal in ngee ann poly one. haha.. duno la! at least thats like $1.5, haha.. while outrace is plus one decimal place. its only.. 16dec.. and im struggling like hell.. thanks ah!

if anybody is wondering why my hair is like the same length.. forever..
its cause i keep trimming it. but!!
its longer than b4!!
not the front la.. but the back... haha..
yeahs!! its over the shoulder..
sometimes i feel like im talking nonsense in here..

okay, Xmas is coming, which also means Jay's birthday is coming.. which also means.. Sam's birthday is already here.. and also means.. my sister's birthday is coming.. BOXING DAY! oh yah.. fellow friends.. u know who u are.. hah.. 22nd dec which is a Thursday, there will be a mini dinner. For celebrating Christmas.. hah.. together. wanto have gift xchange?? anyway. the venues are.. erm.. many many la.. newton, far east, fish n co, seoul garden, hotel rendezvous, billy bombers or.. a hotel buffet!! at least estimate the budget haha.. to some of those places. get back.. to nurulia or me asap! just that i will not be in singapore, from sunday to wed, so plz contact nurulia after saturday! ok nunu?? Charmaine! u better come ah.. haha.. you blog tt we should come out more often! so, i book your Thursday! but, plz study before that.

there is a Logistics management bbq tonight, haha.. and snw tmr..but im poning tmr's snw.. cuz i have scouts. yeah?? and i hope tonight's bbq will be fun! i just wanto eat. well, what else does pigs do?? EAT!!!!!!! n sleep..

okay... Peiyi and Weifeng are exceptionally quiet today,.. anything it is... CHEER UP!! olright...

hrm, i better go.. bye! take care!!

yeoooowwccchhh!!

2005-12-15T10:58:00.000+08:00

GIRLS..we are always having to go through such pain every month. to the extend that we can do noting else. nothing! the pain is horrbible and awful and... CRUEL .. hrm.. but im kinda used to it. jus need to pop the pink pills. hha.. and i dun haf them now!! i will rush home later. ahaha.. for the pills.. and for my slp. yeah..

as i am typing this, i feel like i need to tidur.. so.. sleepy. its like my head would meet the table anytime now. hah.. but benn is bugging me in msn haha.. joking lah.. period turns a girl into e mini mean monster.. Sorry bout tt!

its CATS now, im suppose to do an E-portfolio or something like tt. there is so much to read up on and do! haha.. my lecturer?? he is probably dozing off in seconds too. peiyi is not here today. aah.. so im quite alone. with the IS ppl, but we're fine. .

i gtg, im dying here. rotting in my chair..

hiya!!

2005-12-14T10:55:00.000+08:00

Hellooooooooooooooooo

haha... i think i have never been happier since i graduated from Greenridge Secondary, and i believe that afterall it was your secondary school who carved the foundation of your future.. at least show a little apprecation. YA??

anyway, went out for dinner at orchard yesterday evening. we were suppose to bid sibi farewell, but he couldnt get out of his house. Thank god, i did meet him last thursday. haha oh well, we had diinner at plaza singapura, Pizza Hut.. with nurulia, charmaine, siti, jason and charmaine. 7 of us.. laugh and laugh.. had alot of fun la.. and my mood was definitely lighten after tt.. we took neoprints, but i cant put it up yet.. hah.. yeahs..

okie, i was back from sch like at 1pm. super early today.. ahah.. haha working at 6pm. and my dear faizal is overseas... so im quite bored. but ROCKY is here with me haha.. he went for grooming yesterday and now he loook like he got a mohok hair style.. thats cool huh!! he llike the white sofa. always sit and relax right there.. than slp. lazy..!!! jus like me la. slack the whole day..

and!! finally no more tests and presentations till 2 wks later!! aha.. holiday study break.. YEAH!!

im talking to yina and she keeps on askin me if.. i am wanting to marry faizal!! why why??? hahahhahahahahaha.. OF COURSE! he is my everything!! hehe..

haha.. oke!! ciao! im gg!!

PEACE

2005-12-13T15:29:00.000+08:00

okie, i apologiz for my entry. please do not spam my blog. and please, i do not want my friends to get into any kind of trouble with whoever is spamming. I already did what they want, i jus expressed what i felt. i believe, i can say what i wan on my blog.. if you dont like it, i can jus delete it. save your energy on other matters beneficial to whoever.. i didnt even mention your names.. so thank you very much. i appreciate your understanding..

..

2005-12-13T13:19:00.000+08:00

HI everyone.. i was back from KL Scout Goodwill Trip two days ago actually.. hah.. but.. no time to go online and such! and.. glad to announce!!! i PONNED lesson the whole day yesterday.. haha.. okie. nvm la hor, i am so super tired!! yeahs..

okie, i did enjoy myself alot. especialy the part where i could SUAN n SUAN vinvent ng.. who is fortunately not my exco chairman. haha.. if not.. MATI.. sure die lor. i am not against him or anything, i just enjoy tekaning him.. haha.. i am sure he is not that hurt lah. Right vincent???? haha..

i think he is not hurt lah.. nvm haha.. anyway, tonight.. there is a farewell dinner for Sibi. hah.. he was back here last wed, and going away again tmr.. but he will be back again next year january. haha.. i hope, with his girlfriend. he looks much better now. haha.. cuz nurulia me zal hung out with him the last thurs. at coffee bean(taka), jus drank and talked. it was fulfilling. than i had to go KL and nurulia to HK, and faizal today to Port Dickson. yep.. hope we have a nice dinner tonight, inviting a few other friends, jason and siti, royston and charmaine, felicia, amanda, marina and of course our clique lah. hah..

What more?? hrm.. studies. well.. although i did ok for statistics, i am blady nervouse for.. EALS test tmr.. .. and i jus passed.. EIS test jus now. PWA test also jus pass.. hhah.. well, at least i didnt fail anything. self consolation. haha.. and im true to myself. and i dun lie to ppl haha.. i really hate those stratgic ppl in my heart. they jus love to lie..

haha.. and i love to blog. haha.. anyway, i came back from KL on sunday, faizal goes msia today.. he comes back on sunday, and on tt very day i go off again overseas. hhah.. next wednesday than i can c him sia. stress. haha.. missing him ALOT.. haha..

wanto see those KL pics??? here is the link!! from joseph's blog!!

ok folks, thats bout it! see ya!

forget it

2005-12-06T14:20:00.000+08:00

hrm.. forget it. im wasting alot of my time and effort jus bloggin bout them.. who mean nothing to me now. so, i shouldnt bother and should jus ignore. i know who is out there looking out for me. and that is God. he should know who to punish, who is right and who is wrong. Whether i rightfully owe them money or not.

as long as i know the truth. i know im not wrong, than its oke. if my friends, actually believe whatever they tell. than ok, nvm. i have nothing to say.

alls welll..

tired..

2005-11-29T15:14:00.000+08:00

everybody seem so tired these days, i think its the hectic projects and tutorials due and how strict the teachers are this term, we hardly have time for ourselves. and than, when we finally have free time, we're too tired, we sleep. thus.. haa.

i lost zhengkai's thumbdrive, ops.. and yah.. i will take the responsibilty, dun worrie. yah, sorry im late today for project work. sometimes, i dun know whether i will wake up late or not. Do we stop such things? also.. too bad, i dun wanto be your friend anymore i think your wasting my time. and, and leeches are not welcomed in my life. And dun make use of me, stop askin me to go wherever and whenever, im not obliged to do so..

sad..

2005-11-27T14:48:00.000+08:00

im too tired.. to say anything.. my heart just feels very heavy.. haiz..

hello.

2005-11-22T10:56:00.000+08:00

okei.. haven blogged for such a long time. its already tuesday today.. hrm.. wanto tok bout last sat. i went to Shooting Stars showcase!! and and.. i saw all of them.. INCLUDING TAUFIK!! haha.. yah. oke, reason why im super excited.. its cuz.. hha, he is super duperly handsome.. and.. i just sense then gentlemanly aura around him. haha.. and Sly is not that bad after all, jus that he like to pose for pics. haha.. god.. and olinda is super slim now. and she is very humorous. haha.. thought i was really sitting in a very gangkor positiong(wearing a skirt n on the floor), i felt very very comfortable. they joked around and talked jus like the old 4e1. hah.. suaning each other n stuff. haha.. it was one nostalgic experience. yehs.. but.. WHAT A PITY!!! i didnt bring any camera device!! im was so devestated and happy at the same time... so was quite confused.. i knew how to sing the songs and stuff. ok, i sound like a crazy fan.. but im not. haha.. anyway, i was wearing.. sumthing i swore i wouldnt wear.. i hope it wasnt that bad. haha.. FOR FAIZAL. hee.. and.. also, it was in a CLUB MOMO, so i kinda knew how that club looked like. nice, intimate, dark.. and i couldnt c where there were no lights. haha.. yahs, jus loved the whole event. partly cuz, faizal, taufik, club, music, air-con and laughter were all there!! MUACKS!!.... hee. okok.. STOP IT

haha. whats more.. hrm, i went to take neos with zal.. ate yoshinoya.. haha.. and loved the time spent with him.. haha.. it was once.. in a very few times i could be with him at night. haha.. ok whatelse..

Erhm, been very slackin with work, one reason being, my manager put me a few days onlie lorh.. haha.. and im so BROKE now haha.. i jus buy alot of food to eat. if i actually keep trrack.. i dun take neos, nor buy stuff.. for myself no more. i jus gorge myself with food. so, plz jus imagine.. how FAT i am now. hehehe.. ok, forget it, dun imagine, im jus FAT.

watched the show I LOVE SAM on sat night.. it was so sad. haha.. dakota fanning act one, always make me cry! haha.. she act good mah. got future. haha. in hollywoood.. way to go! hrm, well its bout this man. who is not very abled.. but he is a supser nice father. and he got a daughter.. through i duno what, she is separated from her father at the age of 8. cuz he had the IQ onli of a 7 yr old. hah, but i personally think that he is a very gd father. one better than those hu have... the IQ of a 100 yr old okie.. hah.. he took care of her when he was only holding a low paying job, bought diapers. and stuff. brought her to sch. and realli took care of her. but they had to take her away from him. they loved each other ALOT. oke. too engrossed ah.. haha. haha.. he had a lawyer fight for him. probono.. or sumthing. she very STRESS one.. than very hectic la her life. she fiannly divorced her husband. i think he was having an affair. than, she helped the helpless father lah.. until i think they become couple leh. haha.. oh god. in the end, he got her back, yeah!!!

erh. sunday i basically spent time with family lah. and i finally got mu LAVENDER PINK SAMSUNG E530C!! haa.. ive waited a long time man. hah. but the thingy is huh, i duno how to use bluetooth n stuff. how to d/l stuff and all. so im quite a nooby with my hp. haha.. so mountain tortoise le me. ERGH. well, i hate IT. so its understandable. yikes.. aha.. know what, im in sch now. haha... having lecture. but i think the walls are listening to him. n thats it. haha.. the rest r fully engrossed with their lappys.

hrm.. whats more... yesterday i had sch, but i pon stats. cuz.. i had this stupid pain in my tummy.. i couldnt stand straight. meant to finish my COIP working files, but it was futile. the pain kinda took over, n i was so concentrating on jus the pain. i couldnt do anything else, decided to skip stats. and meeting at night and stuff. i wanted to c a doc. faizal came down to bukit timah plaze. and i met him at the bank. hrm.. i walked down with karine and soon enough, my pain went away. i changed my mind bout the doc, but still firm with skippin lessons.. (typical), haha. so yah.. i went back for meeting though. there was suppose to be sign language clz today. haha.. but it was somehow, not starting today. so went early for meeting. and started to interact and colour cards. haha.. yeahs! fun. haven done colouring for years i must say. stayed till bout 9pm. and than i went home. haha.. talked to many ppl today lah. so many problems. but.. life. cannot be explained.

okoke.. nothing else already. blogged damn long. haha.. nvm lah. tired!!!! sianz... tmr going to KBOX with weifeng and gang.. haa.. and.. morning breakfast with BABY!! haha.. and night time go jalan raya with filz, fatin n gang. haha.. cya!

haiz..

2005-11-16T11:32:00.000+08:00

darn that stupid pop up blocker, and now i cant out any photos.. cuz the page is blocked. stupid, sometimes, it just sucks. ergh.. nvm..

Haiz, anyway.. i duno what.. im jus feeling very disappointed.. ****ed up.. haiz. i know.. i think its just the fact that im stuck in the libray with nothing to do and listening to soapy ballads. its jus so demoralizing. i thought today i could somehow see him for awhile. but while looking forward to it, i was so shockingly dampen when he said he was too tired to meet me. i understand but, it was only for awhile? now, even though he said he couldd meet me if i wanted to, i totally have got no mood already. i mean, u already said that ur tired, and u made urself clear that u didnt want to meet, so you dont have to ask me whether i wanto see u or not, or whether i am sad. so what? ur still tired. if u meant to wanto sincerely meet me, even for that short period, u wouldnt even mention that ur tired. and its after all the fun u had, ur tellin me now that ur tired. DUH. when i was like almost half dead, and u asked me if i was ok. i didnt reply, cuz i didnt have the energy too.. u didnt even send another msg of concern. and u said.. i didnt reply, and that uu forgot that i was not well. wau, thanks alot. ur concern is so appreciated. its jus so like you to make me so pissed off and pretend that nothing ever happened. I AM STILL ILL.. and ur not even asking. how many other boys who are not so close to me.. at least asked.. twice if i was ok and ask me to rest. sometimes, i just duno who are you. the next time you wanto have fun, jus forget u have a girlfriend la ok. dammit.

i didnt make it to sch yesterday due to very severe pains and i think i missed out on quite alot of stuff. im pretty stressed up right now. cuz i duno where to start from.. what to start from. and how to start. its like.. im jus pinned down by so many things and i duno how to start off. i have got no ability to even start. bleah.. whatever. haiz..

okay lah, think i got to go. tc.

i miss my sec sch..

2005-11-13T15:39:00.000+08:00

lazy sunday afternoon, feelin realli full aha.. jus met up with yina and darius for a meal at pizza hut, greenridge.. amir came down for a little chat too.. and fatin was working. haha.. thats why, kind off a mini gathering for sec sch classmates. and so so hilarious, what ever mood i had, it kinda jus vanished.. i think im missing my sec sch life alot more. where the ppl are alot less political and backstabbing. where they are more genuinely concerned and caring, where they r true friends. and not all the opposites. bleha..

im watching an indain show now.. haha.. im suppose to have alot of hw to du but im not doing that. hrm.. im so LAZY!!!!! haiyoh..

anyway, yesterday was also yifang's birthday. and she probably had a great time. it was a big party lah, also her sister's birthday. haha.. and the function room was so cold! i almost became ice.. but oh well.. hhaha.. i was outside most of the time.. and ruthless was there. i wanted to mingle around, but than, it was quite awkward. u know, not seeing each other for so long and stuff. only when going home that time did we start talking, than i had to go. oh well... on the 26nov there will be a bbq. haha.. plz be reminded! its 26 not 27 nov.. time n place ask engpeng or wantian..!!

ok, i got to go now.. bb!

gggggrrrrhhhh....

2005-11-09T10:11:00.000+08:00

guess this is jus one of the many times when im feeling down so such a long time, like i said before, when something not nice happens, everything else bad will follow behind. and that is the way life goes.. and it sucks. but i know ivan said, life does sucks, but no matter we must live it up to the fullest. even, if we are experiencing a down turn, just got to move on. that kind of thingy.

now im in class, having enterprise information system, try as i might, i still du not know a nut about this module. im merely followeing the instructions he gif. im in a horrible mood today. feeling very tired, and maybe im just falling sick. and i thinking of gifing japanese up. its this evening, i hate this teacher alot. haiz. i think i am gg to pon, in such a foul mood today. cannot last until.. 8pm, bleah. sumtimes, i also duno what is my EIS teacher doin leh. so irritating lah he, always like tt. " blablha, u du this n that.. blablha.. " then he ask us to do.. how to know? my music make soft soft also i dun understand. i dun wan like last semester, last minute than chiong everything lor. later get such a low GPA again. i think i jump down. haiz..

anyway, i think i gg now.. nothing to blog liaoz.

gg to doze off soon

2005-11-08T13:42:00.000+08:00

im here in clz, java progamming, but i think my eye lids are trying toi be funny. they are becoming so damn heavy, i think i cannot hold it any longer.. even now as i type, i feel like i am gg to bang my head hard on the table jus a bout anytime man.. hrm..

hrm, anw, announcement to make.. 27thNov 05 a Sunday, 4e1'04 peeps plz take note there will be gathering at East Coast Park, 10am at eunos station. there will be a bbq, catch up session and own games. ha, so plz get back to Fel, Nurulia or me, to confirm attendance. i will be sendin out an email lah, so dun worrie lah. haha.

hrm, things are okay now. i think tt ive relaxed, not impulse anymore.. hrm.. oke, blog later, i gtg slp.. tired!

selfish

2005-11-07T23:31:00.000+08:00

i wish some ppl jus would think bout the welfare of other ppl and not onli themselves, cause such ppl would come to no gd end in the workin world, jus a few years later. bleah.. jus WAKE UP! and plz do not.. of all ppl.. make me an enemy!

oki, ive a got a test tmr.. so i better go off not,jus wanting to make my point.. or i'll nt slp peacefully tonight..

take care!

..

2005-11-07T12:20:00.000+08:00

i am so FREAKING FED up with the computer, as much as i like a laptop, i hate to du stuff.. with it!!! like now, its COIP lessons, and im asked to edit so many things. microsoft word, and i duno what to du!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ERGH. i knew, i knew i wouldn like this kind of business thingy and IT stuff.. i am not deem fit for this coursE! i like food and beverage, tourism, early childhood! why must i bee in a course i do not like? its so forcful to come to sch, why must i drag my feet to sch and not look forward to coming to sch? why must i always take the wrong route? in sec sch, now even in tertiary level. i take the wrong path.i think i should bang the wall and die.. and the project work le? what the hell is geocaching.. now that i have so many problems.. i still am working.. and fanning over unecessary stuff! haiyoh, when u get a downfall.. every bad stuff will come together! u get an unlucky waterfall.. what am i talking about??? ok, nvm!

all i wan now.. is peace and quiet. nice friends and my bf! but now, i only have my BF! im so angry lah, with myself and everything!

im bothered..

2005-11-06T22:23:00.000+08:00

hmm, life is boring and i dun have a sense of direction, i have no idea where to head. i am jus wandering life when it comes, i think that i am living such an awful like.

work is becoming very boring to me, it is a hindrance i feel now. although i am earning, i am beginning to think that its actually useless for me. i do not need all thhat money, i jus feel belonged to pizza hut and have nothing to do. or so i think. in ngee ann, i have so much to catch up on. and my japanese, they jus wont let me change the date and waste my whole wednesday! y r the sch clerks so lazy? we pay so much for the course and they jus say my reason is invalid.. i should have jus told her.. "i hate the stupid teacher who speaks jap throughout the whole lesson, forgetting that we are english speakers, she jus thinks that she is so fluent in her language she jus spews it all over! she is not even teaching, she is talkin to herself! how the fuck am i gg to understand if she speaks so fast and dun spare a thought for her students? and i wait.. 3 whole hrs jus to hear her talking to herself? i am failin japanese for sure!" maybe then, she will change my clz for me and also, i might say a thing or two to her.. "ur a very lazy clerk, bitch.." haiz.. i am so upset with my life.. at a stupid time like this, i go to sch, come to work and go home, i slp.. i go to sch again and work again.

ppl from pizza hut, is their care genuine? or is it jus so fake? i dun feel anything.. ive been workin so long.. haiz. and i feel so lost now, i jus feel very lost. even ppl from clz, i duno how real are they? i really wish i can change a course, go to another. but, i know that i have got no choice..

nothing is gg to help me find direction.. i think i am going the wrong way. my heart is all scrunched up, everytime i think how useless my life is right now, i feel like screaming so damn loudly.. i wanto let it all out. but, i cant. i havent seen faizal for so long.. nor can i really talk to him. sometimess, being single.. would help, so i wouldnt think "how come ive got a bf, but it seems like i dun have one.. " i cannot blame him nor myself, its no one's fault.. we have been together so long, it was much easier last time being in the same sch, the time we have together now, is so little.. haiz.. and i keep thinking that i dun have a bf.. it doesnt bother me when we dun meet up so much, but when i know i cannot see him, i will jus be so frustrated..

burnt my stupid arm today, yunlong accidentally hit me.. and tt lim ask long to help me put the cream.. i feel like slapping him! haiz.. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why.. haiz..

i jus feel so damn LOST! i dont know what to do.. should i quit my job and set on studyin all the way! but, i know i wont have enought to spend on.. i know. yet, something about pizza hut is making me wanto quit, and its not the pay.. haiz.

and SCHOOL! i duno about statistics and physcis, lecturer keep saying that its ez its ez! its not! is it cause i dun listen in clz, or im a total failure.. or i woork too much and hhave no time for revision? i always get too tired and dun have the energy to cont'd.. im FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i feel so ANGRY inside.. i feel so much like shouting out all the problems i have kept inside for so long.. gtg now.

take care..

sch's out for me..

2005-11-05T00:33:00.000+08:00

school was okay this morning, i was on time and stuff.. and everything was alright. haiz.than there was this Java class.. i could do it but its jus copying whatever teacher has on the board, there.. i was a little frus with the fact that i had to redo, cuz it has too many errors. nvm... after tt it was work, wored from 4. till bout 11pm, i am of course cranky n tired and full of no life.. im very irritated and annoyed that i have to work everytime after sch.. and basically lead.. NO LIFE.. how extremely broring is tt? its not that im forced to work, but hu else is gg to give me the money to spend when i need it? im not some rich tai tai's daughter.. if not i wouldnt be complaining her in my blog. ergh.. im angry.

after work, i come back only to hear the preachings of my parents, they nag like record players.. and they jus keep drowning your ear drums with continous naggiings. how annoying! all about roccky again , do i have the time to bathe to dog all the time? whats more, when they were making noise, i was hangin the darn clotes, the very clothes my sisters cant be bothered washing,and having me end up washing them .. erh.. and hang. yikes! i hate it man.. haiz..

Think i better go now, its geeting late, im stil out side my house usin the net connection and fighting my very heavy eye lids. i still am not done with COIP. haiz, im dead for this sem..

Gtg now, bb

siann..

2005-11-02T14:21:00.000+08:00

listening to taufik's 1st, i dun realli like it, but its quite touching song, hrm.. in clz now, with mr lee heng tat, and he is extremely boring, like talkin to the wall, or himself.. boring!!

bleah, jus the 2nd day of sch and there is so much shit to do, god! i duno to feel happy that imm finally kept occupied or to jus sit and lament. haiyoh.. curse and swear.. Eals lah, eis la.. coip la.. and what more. there are assignments like.. applied stats.. hrmm..

now, sly's song is playing. haha. 1st time in the whole yr, du i think that he is singing better than taufik le..

actualli, i duno what to think of ppl la, its hazarderous enough jus handling myself. when i hear what ppl say bout other ppl, i prefer keepin quiet. sometimes, i comment a thing or two. i duno what to feel. haha, last two days when i come to sch, i feel like a compplete nerd, having to bring so many things and carrying them around. my hair all messed up and stuff, than my bag broke. what kind if first day is tt? the onli real thing that cheered me up is.. the steamboat at marina with the rest.. they kinda cheered me up.. duno which person say tt i look left out.. i think melissa.. haha.. dun worrie, i think i can be alone.. i dun nd ppl by my side all the time as long as i know they are around, i am fine. haha, furthermore, i dun nd those two ppl, thailand was just to stay happy and avoid trouble. i am fine without them..

im gg to have japanese later right.. i kinda forget everything liao leh. haha.. im so gg to die la. but nvm, later i have a little time. so i can revise..

hrm, i kinda feel better now, talkin to bingshun, my dear cousin. hu understands the frustrations of a 17 yr old.. haha. cuz he is also 17 ma.. haha.. u better msg me after ur o's ah.. if not i sure kill u..

aiyah.. of all the haha's u see in my entry, none of them realli mean haha.. get what i mean?? siao la.. i am quite upset that i always cannot meet Faizal, sometimes there r jus too much things to say, n when dun say out to him.. when i wanto, i will nv get the chance again. cuz i dun feel like saying anymore. u know ? well.. hrm..

lessons finish liaoz.. gtg.. Bing! y still reading!! go study!!

..

2005-11-01T12:08:00.000+08:00

ha, funnily today is deepavali.. i didnt watch tv the whole day.. but now im pretty hooked up with a hindu show on tv. haha.. also, i jus found out tt lessons tmr are onli for 2 hrs. and it starts at 1pm. i have japanese at 6pm, what the hell.. haha.. but gift of xmas meeting at 5pm. so.. yah.. busy like not busy haiyoh..
anyway, my mother's friends came here today at 2pm, they started playin mahjong all the way till 10. of course, with dinner break la. haha.. my mother n i was busy preparin that 8 dishes dinner. haha.. it wasnt chinese.. more nonya kind of dinner haha.. it was delicious!! i think i gain alot of weight olready, with all that calories. haha.. while nurulia sheds some kilos at the camp.. im gaining.. tiao.. haha..

suppose to work tmr at 4-10, but i have japanese till 8pm. haha, sadd? no la, i quite tired... thanks to maisarah who replace me..Thank you!! after jap, i have venture meeting.. yah.. haiyah.. not busy la.

im clueless as to what i am studyin this semester, all the subjects i seriously.. "adore",, like physics, computer stuff la.. and what not. haiyoh.. im gg to die!!

hrm, i duno, there is a very heavy feelin in my heart.. and i simply cant figure out whats the feeling about. but, im quite.. affectedd. bleah.. so annoying..

hello!

2005-10-29T00:35:00.000+08:00

hey, i know its been a super long time since i blogged. haa.. in two days time school is gg to start.. n im pretty much lookkin forward to it. i duno why also, perhaps staying at home is really such a bore. haha.. well.. it is. i cant stand idling around and doin nothing..so i will slp till half the day is gone.. than i will go for work. its a routine. but it will change soon. haha.. i wan it to change fast. im such a slacker.. haha.. after the 14 days of hard work. i come back n rot.. hrm.. not interesting. haha..

however, i did spend time with sec sch friends, and of course with faizal, yina's burfday jus went by and.. we had dinner at swensons, nurulia, siti, jasmine, yina, me and also felicia. yeps. we laughed alot, jus talkin bout the diff sch's n stuff haha.. yahs. anyway. i spent time with zal too. n his friends.. haha this wk alone, we watched 4 movies.. thats, April Snow, Legend of Zorro, Skeleton Key.. and one more i cant remember haha.. nvm.. im jus lookin forward to Harry Potter, i hope its not as disappointing as the.. 3rd one. haha..

actualli i have many things to talk.. wanto speak to faizal, but he is sleepin.. so i blog la.. tmr there is a venture meeting but its all the way at east coast.. im rather lazy to go all the way there, furthermore, im workin around 6pm. haha.. thats why i prefer to... u know.. give it a miss. haha. know what? as much as i feel a little out of place.. and my attendance havent been tt good for ventures.. they gave ,e a vice chair position. i haf no idea whether to be thankful or.. jus dun care. haha.. well.. im not an irresponsible person haha.. so i just have to take on the rold properly.

than, at pizza hut.. im being promoted to being a STAR.. the pay is jus a teeny weeny bit higher. but im greatful.. haha.. cuz it feels nice to be promoted for what i work for u know.. yeah.. nn also.. the hari raya wk.. im workin 6 days in a row... hrm!!

went out with faizal today, went to plaza jus to avoid the rain for a little while. haha.. saw many pjc ppl.. and i told him "sure see ppl we know" jus when i finish my sentence.. i saw tuanquan, huidong, charmaine and royston. ahha.. what a coincidence. well.. it was nice for faizal to meet up and talk la. although it was jus a short one.. haha. it was nice catching up and stuff.. yeah. haha. yah.. later we had to think again where to go. jus took 75 to.. great world city. we walked a little and watch movie .. anyway, zorro is a nice show haha.. go watch it. 5 stars haha.. comedy cum action movie. haha. i think ..

bleah, my mother is complaining again. bout the hsework and stuff.. as much as im duin the hsework, its stil not enough.. but she sure have got things ton complain... its not gd enough and stuff.. god. sumtmes i duno what else to du.. thank god. i have rocky.. he is my darling.. and of course.. Faizal.. muacks. he iss my everything haha..

ok, i promise myself tt next semm, im gg to study hard. jus kp up with work and dun allow myself to slack.. ergh.. n i must. haha.. anw, ii got a letter today from NP bout a prize giving ceremonny.. apparently. i have best performance for the module.. Individual and the community. haha.. i have no idea.. how. and why.. when i actualli did pon for tt lesson once.. and got zero for tt wk.. i duno how i got an A.. haha,, they ask to call a secondary sch teacher.. haha.. funny right. i duno why haha.. but im glad though. i thought i wasted my semester 1.. at least i have a little sumtthing. i hope they didnt send it to the wrong person. haha..

ok.. gtg.. muacks to faizal!! love u!!

hey..

2005-10-20T19:58:00.000+08:00

here to blog about thailand, i can never ever forget times up there in the village with the people.. and of course beloved new found friends. haha.. we built the partitions of the clinic and did road resurfacing. yah.. which requires alot of determination and hard work, i think. there was no time to laze around. but, these times were spent with close friends, and there was many oppotunities to bond together. also, the scenary up there!!!! aiyoh!! so nice! i will show u pics when i get them lah. haha..
actualli, i am very very not in the mood to blog leh. jus wanto say, i enjoy chiangmai alot and am missin every bit of it.. it was a very nice 15 days with the rest, although there were conflicts within the groups, it was very maturely solved and.. i think that things have gotten better since then. thanks to our two very friendly lecturers.. who further made this trip a memorable one. they closed two eyes and yet earned the respect of ours. yes.. !! i made many new friends.. i rmb the first day, Mr ng asked us to rmb the names of the 23 peeps... that was difficult.. but at the end of the 14 days.. we can easily rmb each other's name without lookin haha..
there were many laughters.. and all.. tears also but.. haha.. all was well in the end. i guss, everyone should give community service trips a try. it is always nice... and how u see it.. Bleah.. okies!!

gtg now.. take care.!

its me.. im back jeez. miss thai.. miss friends!

2005-10-18T18:51:00.000+08:00

hellos! i have so much to blog about.. but haha.. im not free now. i have to go like soon, out for dinnner with my family. haha.

im back from Thailand, Chiangmai! went off for 14 days for community service.. was up in the mountains for 10 whole days. at first, with ppl i didnt know. after a few working days, it was bonding bonding and more bondings. yep, we worked and played and had pure fun together. yeahs, after which..we went to the city. and had tours from factory to factory and also.. many other.. kind of stuff.. some little shopping time. haha. didnt really get alot of stuff.. didnt have the time to do so. thats why.

haha, oke. i shall blog longer another time... cuz i nda go! melissa! if ur reading! rest well tc! haha..

also, hi there to nurulia! im back!! haha, call me.. haha. we can hang out. also, thanks so much for sendin the messages, must feel very weird. haha.. yeps. tc.!!

going off to thailand soon..

2005-10-03T00:33:00.000+08:00

hrm, im gg off to chiangmai for CS in two days. actualli. onli one day.. haha. cuz im gg like tmr. now already.. 12 plus. hrm, im happy yet sad, excited yet.. scared. u know.. im gg to miss Faizal a whole lot. i know. he is so much to me.. so so much.. my everything. haha. whats more, his birthday is on the 13th oct, and what, im not around. those reading my blog! plz plz.. wish him on his bdae? he nds it.. i love him! so much..

hrm. 2wks is an awfully lot of time. i can do so much in two wks u know. earn a better pay n stuff, but im gg off for community work. which is what i like to du also lahs. but, haa. i hope.. i will take it. cuz im gg to miss him so much. bout the physical part. tt i can do.

ive got so much to du.. to prepare. nd to take a passport pic.. also..write letters, also.. sign up for basic B jap by tmr. n i cant lahs. sians. some more what... hrm.. all by tmr. 6pm got gathering with l104. haha.. my class. haha. yahyah..

okies. gtg now. long huge day tmr.

im also going to miss dear rocky alot. haha. nobody to take care.!! love ya honey! muachs.

hi everyone..

2005-09-30T23:30:00.000+08:00

hello, jus came back from town. hrm, im half elated n half.. upset.
hrm, oh y? cuz, fel n nurulia won passes to the fitness first, fel have promos n so left them to me. ggreat.. n thx girl. hah, went to fitness first jus now. im in love with it.. and wants to be a member, but.. my mother dun allow. n she holds on to money. hrm.. some more at such a price, i believe im saving alot. dun understand.. hrm.. well, nbm. i still have two days threr.. no nd.. to sad. right?
besides, i have chiangmai to look forward too, spend time with friends n stuff.. yeahs. oke, its late now, tmr i have ventures.. haha.. at 8am. so i better go now..yah.. ciao.

anyway, i took neos with nurulia.. and haha. we stupid stupid wait outsides, when the choosin for photos was inside. nice? nice. hrm.. how dumb can i get. haha.. so we took another. wasting 8 bucks on neos. haha. oh well. tts life. haha saw lim korkor outside ciney, the squatters.. haha. tts what darius call those hu hang out there. haha.. ops.

hrm.. oke. anyway, all the best to all JC ppl..

hello

2005-09-27T01:00:00.000+08:00

haha, im back from chalet.. 4 days ago.. aha.. did opening in pizza hut on saturday, mam zaitun say im slow. yes i am! i know, haha. but im jus not familiar with stuff in the kitchen.. gif me time hehe..

how's chalet?
it was pure fun, sheer fun, tts when i goto learn how to play mahjong. haha. yeas!! though it was a rather lazy chalet, where more money was spent on food. hahaha.. we had fun being together. pool, arcade. n stuff..TV hha.. cards esp heart attack.. benn's gf came over, and i think she is so nice to be with, hhaa.. she is so confident.. haha.. she can really blend in as well. tts GD! ha, i dun think she look like me though. she's prettier. haha.. PEIYI say i duno how to dress up haha.. hrm FINE LA.. jk onlie yahs.

haha.. what more.. we didnt go clubbing lah. ended up having night walk.. freaking ourselves out.. then jus chatting. eatting mac.. slpin a little. yahs tts it.. the rest jus playing rounds of mahjong. certain touching things happen haha.. and tts jus to be kept in the heart. haha..

hrm.. lm04 is jus better now. no longer at loggerheads. i hope it jus continue this way. n not go worse. hrm.. in any case.. u'll know. haha..

im workin so many days this wk, next tues im gg to thai.. for my CS after so long huh.. haha. yeahs, hope i get a nice tan. yeas..
muahahahaha..

okies. i think i better go now. ciao

hellos.

2005-09-27T00:45:00.000+08:00

hey, had a mind waking dream..

2005-09-19T13:06:00.000+08:00

that dream was from two nights ago, it was horrible. and amazingly involve who totally do not know each other. yep, but i knew them. n the feelings sucks whatsoever.. yep.

getting out of that, did i blog to tell you that exams are over? haha, like.. YEAH!! haha.. but im terribly ill, i feel like Nurulia. haha.. the time when she had to sit for a paper that is. for me, its after the exams. yah, i cant hear properly, cant breath properly, keep sneezing, im coughing, and i feel like im in a dreamy state. yerh.. haha.. whatever right.

faizal, is in school now. haha.. study hard boy, and pay attention! muacks!

i duno whether to go to work later, im in the FnB and im ill, hygiene right. yet, i wanto work. cause its 4pm-10pm. that is how much?? $21.00... okay, it doesnt seem alot for workin.. 6hrs. but.. i can eat sakae with tt money oke.. haha. i can watch a movie with that, i can buy.. a shirt from freshbox. and i can save the money also.haha.. besides, got a class chalet coming up. no harm having more money with me right. haha..

im getting back my results, only oon the 9 oct.. that is when i am not even in Singapore. i would be in chiangmai, hopefully, when i go to chiangmai for the last 4 days, i can blog. and tell you guys all about chiangmai!! yahs?? i am going off for a communnity service trip. haha, i guess it would be a whole lot of fun. but, hahaha.. its quite scary living up on the hill.. with other villagers. but no! i will not be intimidated, i am tere to build a wall for them. haha, with other fellow, ngee ann polians.. haha..

9oct, is also.. wener's birthday.. in advance..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WENER!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry i cannot be around girl, ahah... that is if it even matter. well.. take good care. Study very hard! all the best!!

haha, and also to all those in JC, your promos are approaching, study very hard. and.. look forward to christmas.. you can celebrate that with a light hard.. while i hhave to slog for common test.. so ideal! haha.. dun forget to rest well.. slp well.. and play hard.. too!

okei, i bought new specs!! its rectangular. haha.. i paid for it myself, so its going to be very precious to me, faizal went with me, so its extra special to me. haha.. lala, this old specs also very sentimental to me. i wont ever forget that this is one specs with the effort of so many beloved friends. haha.. Thank you again! im sorry i bought another specs, i can hardly see with this specs anymore cuz the multi-coated ... coating has come off.. i appear to be in a very foggy state. haha.. not to mention that i am already extremely blur. haha..

so lookin forward to chalet this wed, can go clubbing with my friends. jus for the exprience, it would be my very first time. haha.. all i know is, i wont like those techno clubs, rather the RnB ones. i am a NOOB in clubbing.. who knows a thing or two?? do i sound like a suaku?? i dont mind.. hehe..

blablah.. i wanto be a freelance writer parttime, but no idea if i have the calibre with that. did i spell that right? oh gosh, Pizzahut is paying me too little i guess.. its paying everyone too little an amount. MRs tan can answer me to thatt.. haha, whether i can be a writer. it kind off depends on.. what kind of topic. hrm.. however, my eng is getting from bad to worse.. cause i havent been reading much. and its pissing me off. i havent got the time. or so i claim.. haha.. now i have all the time but i slack and rot at hme. haha.. i jus duno what kind of books to read. i go to the library, i borrow them. then.. i come hme, i read a little. Nah, its not a nice book. and i dun read it anymore. should i still read.. National Geographic.. or Reader's Digest? haha.. or jus stick to my Seventeen mag? hehe..

ok, i think i wrote a whole lot of junk.. by the way, anyone read.. I Believe You by a local writer? i think its a nice story, try to read it. Online.. yahs.. Toodles!

hihi..

2005-09-16T21:30:00.000+08:00

hrm, finally my exam is over.. ok, not as though it was damn long lah, but it seemed more tensing then o levels itself. haha.. o's is really nothing man. haha.. yerp.. anyway.. haha.. there is so many things i wanto buy now. haha, but jus dun haf the mood to go alone.. and faizal still schooling, with exams and stuff.. so, i dun wanto.. keep askin him out also. lah, i know, in some way, he is blaming me.. but nvm, i understand. having a bf or gf, aint easy on studies. now, i jus wanto work, and forget bout spending time with him la. he nds to concentrate on his studies. yet sometimes, when i planning roster, i would think, how bout him? if i work and he is free how? haiz, he tells me he nds to study, yet when he is free and i need to work, he gifs the upset face. i duno what to du also. hrm, also.. ive been realli losin my temper on him. by certain things he say.. shucks. it is jus so irritating.. i duno what to du..

bleah.. the holidays are here.. and now i duno what to du.. haiyoh.. i gtg now.. byebye...

in such a fed-up mood..

helllooo there!!

2005-09-10T11:23:00.000+08:00

long long time since i blogged yah?? haha, sorry to all hu reads my blog.. FIRST.. i need to announced tt im such a BAD friend.. i forgot it was the birthday of a great friend of mine.. few days ago.. its the 10sept today.. her birthday was on the 7thsept... HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To AMANDA.. hrm.. SORY!! really stressed up, considering i had a paper.. like yesterday. was muggine.. hehe.. was i..?? haha.. duno haiyoh. im sorry dear..

okie, then... now i have two more papers to sit for... 4 more grueling hours in tt.. realli chilly room. ngee ann has got too much money to spend.. they wan their aircon bills to be the highest it can be... temperature so damn low.. ppl taking exam cant even concentrate on their papers.. only thinking, if only i can go over tt silly aircon controller and.. switch the blady thing off.. hahahahahha.. ok nvm..

what else, i went to East Coast with faizal jus recently to kinda destress.. haha, we played bowling and stuff.. then... cycle .. ate at raffles hospital's banquet b4 that, save money. know how ex the food can get in ECCC?? yahs.. tt high..

i really should be starting on my business finance, cant affored to fail, i'll be paying a PRICEY price.. for tt.. hahaha im working tonight again. hu in the right mind would work.. 3 days in a row.. when the exams r jus like... one day later.. actualli.. MANYY.. but, im one of the sillies.. BHA HA!! learnt tt from.. Nurulia's really funny friends... yahs.. from TP. they r nice ppl to hang out with, but can be realy.. weird. i duno.. hahas. im pretty quiet b4 them. they probably think im a quiet little nerd from NP.. yew. FAR FROM TT!!

suppose to meet Faizal this morning, but his elder brother has got a birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KAIRIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or is it.. KHAIRIL.. nvm.. hahas.. as a result, he cant meet me.. as a result. i woke up close too 11.. as a result. half my day is gone in an instant.. as a result.. im still not panicking.. almk.. i haf to.. im panicking!!!!!!!!!

lalala... gtg now.. CYA arnd!

too tired to tok.

2005-08-30T14:43:00.000+08:00

gdamnit. im so pissed and fanning over so many things.. guess what, im actually dancing tmr for teacher's day in GRSS, PLZPLZ dun laugh at me.. on the stage dancing.. i wonder what r ppl gg to react.. aha. yahs, ive jus completed BCA pract test.. it was ok. but i know i lost quite alot of marks. cuz, i duno how to du.. scanarios.. hahas.. dun wanto knoe also lahs. nvm.. later i gtg to GRss for dance. SHIT.. haha..

its not tt i dun like dancing, i love it , but if we're more prepared then i think i would have more confidence lahs. now i dun have.. cuz i pract like onli 1 day. yahs. i sacrificed my time for the dance, and didnt study my.. econs. Which i took yest, n would most likely flop.. yahs. n, my left hand nails are pretty distracting.. cuz.. their painted black. haha, i look like a partial demoness..

hha.a. anw, also, we're gg with a gothic look tmr, always wanted to make myself up like tt for fun, but nv/duno how to du it.. haha.. yahs. and im realli a NOOB with makeup. im 17 yrs old.. and in a poly. haha..

i wanto buy this pretty nice black skirt with a shiny apple on it right hand side. aha.. patience. but.. no.. hrm..

im so pissed now, i wanto take a cab to nurulia's hse.. rush hr.. was suppose to work today and i had to ask darina to replace.. but she also too many things. yerh.. in the end yazid got to do it herself. MAN!! i gtg..

..

2005-08-23T14:43:00.000+08:00

i duno why im so PISSED..

freaking pissed..

im so busy.. so many things to du yet so little time.

i duno hu the hell r my true friends...

hu r backstabbing.

i know... though hu is the one and only true to me.. myself..

at least i can take comfort.. that im not lyin to myself..

hrm, im tired.

i gtg now...

hellos..

2005-08-19T17:18:00.000+08:00

helo, its been a long time since i blogged.. right?? right now in games room, doin my work, but i haven rrealli started.. hahas.. anw..

i duno what to write.. so i gtg..

did i tell u??

2005-08-11T12:15:00.000+08:00

hrm, im at home now. hahas, ponned communication toolkit. i think its a totally useless module.. its not as though i duno how to communicate, this poly cannot think up of any other modules to teach i suppose. hrm..

meant to tell u bout PH the other time, rmb i told u bout tt big group who was coming? well.. haha.. erh, came they did.. but they realli complained. n they r not very friendly. even if the smiled. its obviously FAKE!! i can do tt too u know.. i heard them saying in chinese ' so many ppl they still so slow!!' well, in case miss? u booked the whole of the front section, definitely u think tt it was empty at the store? but if u even haf a neck to enable u to turn your blady head.. we have a queue waiting? for the section 2! and the number of takeways???? u think ur a big grp u have the privilege? no way!!!!!! ur jus a puny customer. n u had no right to reserve the restaurant. we were onli being nice. TO U bunch of MORONS.

opss.. so mean.. haha. but.. HU GIFS A DAMN! i dun even know them. haiz, ive been so busy with work, and school work, tt i havent got the time for my own stuff.. like Adventure seekers. boy do i wanto go for the member's act. but i cant. gosh. haha, if ur askin whether im upset bout it, yes i am. cuze.. other ppl can go and i cant. haiz, n sometimes, whether im busy or not. whether i can handle my timinng or not, doesnt concern other ppl. i can decide tt on my own. i dun need.. other ppl to tell me what to du, cuz i hate tt. especially when i know im on my own.

hrm, faizal is havin his econs test right now, n i hope he does well with it, i know he can du it. he is a very smart guy. jus very lazy, like me! haha.s. ops.. tts why we can click. i guess. hahas.. n i LOVE HIM!!

oke right now, rocky n loretta sleepin. i duno y leh, its onli.. 12.24pm. ahas.. mebber its the fact tt they woke up at 8 plus, and me at 10 plus. hahas.... ops. im feelin pretty lethargic also okes..

hahas, anw, been talked to by an insurance agent from AIA yesterday, and the plan was pretty good. but my mother handles the money. n its a joint account, how can i jus.. decide on giving the money away this way? onli after 25 yrs du i get back the money. but its a whole lump sum.. besides, start the 2nd or 5th year. they will gif a sum of 300 bucks. every yr. or month.. i not sure. must ask yuwen. jus wonderin, why of all the ppl in atrium.. they came up to us? hahas.. du we look rich?? hahas..

oke, what else to write. ahas, i feel very relaxed when im not in tt supid sch. haahs. hhate it.! yucks. mebeb its all the walkin n heat tt makes me so moody and hates it to the core. but i cant change the fact tt i cant change my course. nvm..

i wanto aim.. to be a LOGISTICS OFFICER in the SAF after i serve my four yr bond
i must KEEP VERY FIT! ahhaha.. n jog.. n whatevrr.. hahas..

yahs, also? ive decided to quit ventures. enuff of it. my passion for it has died down. n hui xuan? i appreciate the letter alot. n im touched tt even when i hardly know u.. u took so much time off writin to me. but, i dun think my mindset was swayed. i jus dun like remaning here. its not so much of not being able to face the challenges thrown to me, rather. why stay when the passion has died? no analogy for tt. but u get it. right.. hahas.

take care to those hu care for me.. hahas.. genuinely cares for me. n to those hu r jus pretending, i know hu u r. n those hu dun gif a shit at all.. haha.. too bad. ur losin a gd friend. right nurulia??? see ya tonight!

bye!

what a wonderful world

2005-08-10T11:47:00.000+08:00

i had to drag myself out of the danmn bed today, i wasnt haveing a very nice slp at all by the way.. rocky was rather active, he jus wouldnt slp. then whatveer thingy he was biting, kept droppin on my bed, i had to take it up for him, OMG. i realli couldnt slp well.. hah, then when he had to go back to the cage, he kept barking.. from 5.30am - 6 plus. i almost died. then it was time to wake up. gosh. i almost died.

ok, whats the best thing? i dragged myself to sch.. strollin slowly, had to stand in the blady bus. this guy thought i was lookin at him.. then he turn over and gaf me tt what-r-u-lookin at face. i gave him a HARD blink... and gave him back a look-at-urself-in-the-mirror face and rolled my eyes. IDIOT. like i even had the time to look at his stupid and irritating face! no way! yucks spoiled my mood.

then, 8am, sch. walk all the way to blk 47. n what?? no lesson. no lesson no lesson!!!!!! Fu** damn! i could have SLEPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hrm.. then i also forgot to ask my father for money. now i have to starve, meebe i should go on a diet. well, anw, PH manager say im getting fatter each day! fine.. oke.. so i diet lah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well.. hehe, anw, my two yrs anniversary with Zal is coming.. in a few days. about.. 5 yahs. hahas.. YEAHS! hahs, i jus wanto see him and spend time with him. okies. hahas..

later, i got math log test, and also.. Business finance retest.. i dun wanto retake! i got 49, i retake, i will get 50! yesh.. so nice. so much DIFFERENCE! omg. im tired.. im so tired lahs. been workin since last thurs. thurs all the way to.. tues. yewks..

haiz.. i gtg now. take care!!

i want a new n nice blogskin!

2005-08-08T15:49:00.000+08:00

i wan a new n nice blogskin leh my is too boring.. hehe.. reallis.. i think so, somemore is silent kind, omg.. i want those, nice musical box kind of.. blogskin. okok.. i am a com noob, and i duno anything bout how to du stuff like tt.. like, even how to change a blogskin. u know, someone could spend hours, jus trying to.. change their blogskin?

hahs, thats why i prefer lettin a friend du it for me!! haha, ya ALVIN?? ur gg to help me right... if not then its lokhai liaos.. u guys gt help.. im a NOOB, while u guys.. are EXPERTS..!!yah?? yahs... C!!

now im in econs lecture, my hp is out of batt, cant message Faizal, sad! n whats more, im workin later. cant see him, hahas.. but NVM. i understand, not like some ppl.. BUACKS.. disgusting. well anyway, i know there will be a big group coming to Pizza hut later, total of.. 17-20 peeps. then they want the front part of the dine-in tables, then we must arrange for them la! poor darina n me! hahas.. but what to do? we're paid. hahas.. buden, its a measly sum, 3.5/hr.. i know, ive said tt b4. hehes.. but, what harm do i get jus emphaisizing my exxtremely low pay?? hehe.

u know, jus by reading blogs, i can see whu have changed, and hu have not. ppl hu go to jc or poly, jus somehow change. even myself, but whether its for the better or for the worse.. n i dun think im the latter. rather the FORMER hehehe.. i very gd one, i think hahas.. well, i know hu to be good too.. those hu dun deserve it, jus BUZZ OFF..

yew, cant believe i had the same blogskin as her. yucks, im not as thickskin as her.. at least i admit tt im ugly. yew... i still metamorphasize le.. hahahs.. moron..

lalalalla, oke.. Lm04 is like fallin apart apart, grps dun stay together for long. i jus know tt.. TOO BAD. life is like tt, its whether u wanto choose how to look at it and not to admit to fate. cuz sometimes fate is wrong. hahas. like i always bump into Cunlai, he always smile smile at me. hahas.. everywhere okie.. on the bus, at the bp cc, at pizza hut, in sch, same class, same blk.. see? if i didnt have a bf, i would have thought, did god arrange this? but no, hahas.. i have a DARLING BOYFRIEND.. hu treats me.. the way i like it. hahas..

yah, im one lucky girl hu doesnt complain bout my bf publicly announcing it on blog, and im one lucky girl with such a nice bf! hahas, i know im lucky thus i appreciate him, n trust him. and treat him the best way i can, not jus when he du something nice to me.. hahas..

lala, if anyone smart knows me.. and can guess.. the whole paragraph above was pinpointing some moron. hahas.. but not the my bf part. yahsyhas.. hehehe.s.

i gtg now, take care!

god knows how i feel..

2005-08-08T11:25:00.000+08:00

yeps, onli god knows how i feel. no matter how much i try to smile, only god knows.
im sick, tired, moody, sad, disappointed, worriesome.. n yet some ppl can say.. 'y u always so happy' OPEN UR BIG EYES

crying doesnt always mean ur upset, it means ur tryin to attract attention, backstabbin is not my kind of friendship, its called... TRAITOR

n trying to act gd with me, doesnt increase my likes for u.. i'll jus hate u more. hu am i referrin to? if ur guilty, then think.. it might jus be you..

also, will some ppl jus SHUT UP? so what if ur gd lookin, jus have to let ppl see you when they see you, dun have to announce, no wonder some ppl jus dun like you lahs.. ACCEPT THE FACT.. n if u cant, dun go crawlin to your brothers.. or whatever shit. okie. try acting pitiful, the whole worlds will jus hate you more lahs. not much... GD LUCK

olso, POLY is not the greatest thing in someone's life, but i know at least we have respect for ppl in JC? not like some Idiots, hu think tt JC is the only institution in singapore? hu knows, u might jus fail your A's.. wanto talk?? get gd results for ur a levels. then u come n talk, for the moment, go back buryin ur damn head in ur darn books. HOPE U DIE

okie, will some ppl jus think? think... oki think! use ur brains, its not there for decoration purpose.. OKEI! how du u seell.... 4 booklets.. in 3 days? what, eat it all up, flush it down the toilet bowl is a more likely solution. i dun blady care for this.. anymore okie. i am Quitting. she left, now im gona leave.

..

2005-08-04T13:59:00.000+08:00

im feeling so sleepy now, jus sitting in atrium.. suppose to talk n at least do a teeny weeny bit on bca project with jaymie. but, we ate n talk.. n then.. wham! its.. 1.30 pm i gtg soon.. hahas.

oh well, thus, im bloggin now while still scanning through the problem. haha..

okie.. yesterday i did a very very bad thing.. no lahs.. i pon japanese class, cuz i wanted to complete my project for COMT. considerin that there's no one to help me. hahas.

budden.. i ended up gg home at the same time, i reached home about 8pm. cause i went to watch a movie with Faizal, it was called.. Marebito.. a jap show. bout DEROS. which is lame, non scary.. irritating, hard to understand.. and made me sleepy the whole time. yew.. waste.. 7bucks. on such a lousy thingy. hahs.

oke, then went home, on the way home, i worried alot bout not being able to complete my comt project.. but at last. it was done! hahas.. yehas.. i was so happy when we completed it, mrs sheryll said it was interesting, well.. Thanks YOU!! hahas. the onli thing i hate bout today is having to wear formally.. now im downing a white blouse.. and a black skirt. and flats.. which is hurting me. my feet are having such huge blisters.. i can hardly walk. ppl run through the rain.. i could onli limp slowly under the rain.. oh well.

hahas.. b4 it rained today, the sky had such huge huge black clouds. which kinda scared me.. looks like war of the worlds.. and then + the low rumbling of the thunder. i was as though some monster was lurking nearby. hah.. got the jitters.

hrm, should i apply for NYAA?? silver award.. applied for Bronze like 2 yrs ago, dun even know if mr koh submitted.. our stuf. i find that i was so wasted.. haiz, at least i can then.. tell ppl i have the bronze award. NVM!

hrm.. there r so many many things to du. and so little little time for me.. like.. projects afer project. hrms.. sad!! hahas..
then i worry bout not having the time to spend with Faizal.. then there is work, and ventures. ahas..

im so slppy.. haiz. ~yawnz~

GTG now, i 4pm goto works..

downdowndowndown

2005-08-03T10:47:00.000+08:00

i duno whatssup with me, ive been feelin completely as a loss the last few days, i just dun feel like opening my mouth to talk to anyone. all i wanto do is isolate myself. away.. from ppl i dun like, away from a farce ive been facing the last 8 weeks or so.

all i look forward to everyday is faizal, he is the onli one that let my inner self show itself again, other than him. im hiding.. still hiding. i dun wanto be so concern of things which ppl ain concern about.

i have so much to do.. so much.. too much. too tired. so tired.. haiz.

im hme.. when im supposed to be inn NP

2005-08-02T12:25:00.000+08:00

jellos.. hahs.. im so tired. shacked and everything
right now, jus lazing at home. duin nth, bloggin n surfin n stuff..
im not feelin wells.. haha.. i dun jus PON for no reason okis.. hah.

headachy.. n stuff.. constipation.. yew.. n lethargy n stuff..
makes me real lazy.. somemore. the weather.. hahas.. cooling. but tt was after i decided to stay hme n nurse myself.

well, takin this opportunity to catch up with sch work, study, tutorials, study for tests.. did i tell u i failed BF?? thats accounts.. 49%. ahas.. yahs.. 1 more % and i pass. hahas.. the rest..

Intro to Logis.. 63% (C)
Econs........... 67% (C)
BCA............. 74% (B)
BF.............. 49% (E)
Maths........... 80% (A)

im in the b's range.. again..erm accordin to secondary sch grading that is.. as always. o levels also all B! but its onli common test, i cannot be complacent.. nor can i gif up right now. tutorials play a huge role not.. jus studyin. so does my projects play huge roles.. hahas.. oh well.s.

besides, im undder the pressure of a HUGE society.. thats the governement.. why?? i shall not reveal.. hees.. its TOP SECRET
..

hrms..... gtg now.s.. better start on my work..

2005-07-29T11:37:00.000+08:00

hello im in room peridot.. lessons starts at 12pm. but im still here..haha.. at 11.47pm. ops. why am i always late?? for lesson.. well.. du realli bother. the lesson is about.. computerin n stuff..

haha.. i gtg now
byebye

2005-07-28T17:11:00.000+08:00

hey!! wanto put some pics first.. hahahs... im at home now.. in 30 mins.. i nda go for PH csr course... 2nd day.. yerps.. tiaos.. must do role play n stuff.. yeahs.. has.. hrm.. finish sch today.. around.. 2 cuz i had to stay on for project work. its nv ending, and i dun remember havin completed even one.. im dead. but i also wanto du a gd job out of my sch time in poly. i dun wanto regret in the end.

yeah.. hah.. im not the onli one havin problems actualli.. siti!! take care.. haha.. u always have friends by ur side.. and i can se.e. tt HE IS by ur side.. thingy is.. he's not the kind tt shows it straight.. yeah.. so dun worrie!! :) im glad.. i dropped by and waited for u.. ahha.. to talk.. well.. it was fruitful catching up!!

hahas.. yahs.. now i gtg for Ph course.. ~~TIRED~~

from the SOTONG FAMILY.. (cuTtlefiSh~~)

pain.. i feel heart-throbbing pain..

2005-07-26T11:31:00.000+08:00

haiz, its very sad to see ur family fallin to pieces.. yet knowin.. its already hanging in its pieces and somethings jus happens when it does.. there is no stoppin to what happens. fighting over something trivial.. scaring the youngest one. why! we are in a family.. oke.. make me wanto stop everything.. dun wanto live on.. dun wanto go sch.. draggin my feet although.. im already so late.. walkin slowly.. heckin bout the time factor.. hrm.. im sad. thats why. when im sad, i dun bother bout everything else.

hrm.. tonight, i have ph course.. from 7-11pm..at toa payoh. im gg to be very tired.. reallis. and i have BF project to du.. plus ITL project to du.. i have certain responsibilties.. but i now have too many. and i feel like im breaking into pieces. pieces which cannot be picked up...

i gtg for now bye.

anw, there r sum pics jaymie took of me yesterday.. i didnt know.. find it candid.. later then i post

hellos..hhaha.. i wonder how many hello entries.

2005-07-25T16:30:00.000+08:00

yahoooooo.. hah... i got my marks back for my tests.. so far.. i got C and A for ITL and MAth respectively.. yerps.. hahs.. im happy lah.. cuz my stupid itl teacher say tt.. i will fail ITL!! so i showd him! although its onli a C okie.. i passed, u gundoo!

back to square one, not listenin during lectures.. now is econs. i seriously think tt he is not a gd lecturer.. all the econs also learn myself one. its jus my own readin.. i jus have to go home. then i will read.

oke. now im super.. busy. i duno wanto go for CSR course for pizza hut.. or jus. go for dance sport. hrm.. i wanto go dance. but parames already submitted my name for the course. its not as though im bery free yah.. i still have alot projects due like soon.. yahs! sian.. and then im onli one person.. how u expect me to du so much. yet pizza hut is sumthing i have given myself.

oke.. i bought two new shirts, one erhem.. yahs.. and one more for my yang. hahas.. i love him!! thanks u! so much.. for accompanying me go shopping. and bearing me..haha.. cuz im quite a shopping freak now.. yahs. thanks for tellin me.. the shirt is nice on me when i know its not. haha..thanks for being so sweet. and talkin to me so sweetly..! although i know sumtimes u also cannot tahan me. i understand hahas..

yahs.. thanks for gg all the way to coasta sands.. the other time. knowin tt u can onli stay there for awhile. i hope u had fun.. realli with the guys hahas. shouldhave taken sum pics. well.. thank u.. though tt night.. with chuaneng, darius, meiker and jeslyn.. i realized a few things. it got me thinking more sense. and i understand tt u love me with all ur heart, and i shouldnt doubt u.. but dun misuse my trust yahs?? once its gone.. its realli gone.

when got time i will take the pics of my new stuff.. then show u all lahs.. i know its a little toooo small.. but.. i'll try slimmin down. i know im huge! hahs.. ookoke..

hrm, i hope sum ppl will understand how they are acting towards ppl, whether they should be doin tt or not. whether its right or wrong. whether i like it or not, dun assume tt when ur a friend.. u can jus du anything. sumtimes, i have my limits. and i hope.. u realize it soon.. yah..

hrm.. suppose to have venture meeting later.. but i canot make it. then i gt jap.. n stuff.. haiyohz.. im realli mixrd up..

hehe.. faizal say tt i sound like i was writin bout him.. when i blogged bout the very sad. thingy... the sad sad sad..

well im not referrin to him.. referrin to someone else. hahas.. hu is happy go lucky now.. since he say, my life is gettin back to shape.. oke.. fine!

hahas... im happy with my laogong..! :P u can go n die lahs..(someone else not faizal)

bye.. gtg tk!

..

2005-07-24T19:17:00.000+08:00

hey, jus back from chalet.. it was a rather imppromtu stay, lucky yang had an xtra tee.. and towel n gaf them to me b4 he headed for hme. yahs.. we spent the night jus talkin bout things .. n there were certain tings. i didnt know, which came to light... but it was a gd thing. shall tok bout the chalet another time.. no mood

yang talked to me.. n we talked..ya. n through tt.. i realized.. i dun think.. there is any other guy better then him.. at least in treating me.. yeps.. im so touched. and feelin very fortunate that.. he loves me.. yeps..

hrm.. then i slept.. jus now when i came hme.. then rocky bite my hp.. n my beloved watch.. n im very very sad~~ haiz.. my hp not so bad.. my watch.. haiz.. yang gaf it to me one year ago.. n i treasure it alot. n one bite from him.. destroys.. it.. haiz..

kk.. nw nw.. i gtg

...

2005-07-22T08:55:00.000+08:00

econs rox? hah. well.. habent actualli taken the test.. now still mornin... 9am.. havent study finish! i knew i shouldn haf brought the lappy. but part of mine.. notes r in here. oh well! hahs..

okie.. hrm saw my msn nick? well.. hahs.. sad to say. i dislike coming to ngee ann to study. yahs. n i feel so much like transferrin.. the ppl here are.. jus all.. nt their true selff. they have many things to hide. tts sad. hahs.. yahs..

well. i dun care anymore. as long as i have my secondary sch friends. and my bf, they r really all i nd. nt any hypocrites by my side. ive lost the trust in many. yepsh.. ha.. i gtg now...

while reminiscing.. show u some sec pics. miss them..

...

2005-07-22T01:34:00.000+08:00

hrm, still got time to blog. no la.. i jus finish.. rather 'finish' studyin econs. jus left a few more pages, but i think i lack notes for the first chapter somehow.. bout the absolute and comparative thingy . whatever.. dun get the elasticity.. thingy.. hrm.. but. tmr is the last lap, at least for CT. then.. i will re-focus. ive got not much friendly distractions anymore anyway, he's moved on. why should i stay here. bcum mouldy. buacks.. he dun even care or bother bout anything he's left behind. what matters more to him is the present. which is the right thingy to du. yahs..

oke.. is already 1.40am. im tired. but i dun wanto fail econs. n i dun wanto jus pass as well. but the fact of whether i can du well.. i duno. what if im too slpy tmr? tiaos..

hahs.. nbm.. tmr right after econs, gg out with zal. then.. to ventures meeting, then online discussion... tmr morning having.. ITL project meeting. then ventures.. minutes meeting.. then.. afternoon.. i duno.. then.. erhm.. night bbq at pasir ris.. like tt lah.. then sunday.. duno.. still have BF project with louis,benn and julye one. hahs.. duno if it'll ever be done.. tt i think i feel like duin myself. if i have the ability too.. yer.. then i havta start workin again.. hrm mebbe its time to find a high payin job. hahs.. yahs

hrm.. i gtg now. slp.. wake up 6.45am. go sch.. 8am.. study.. till 11am. 11.30 test.. hoo. wish me pure gd luck! n.. of course. i'll help myself. He cant help u if u dun help urself!

take care.. n bye!

hello!

2005-07-20T10:19:00.000+08:00

im in the library now. haha.. yahs suppose to study yah.. but im bloggin n they r talkins.. heez.. opps.. im bound to fail itl! but im not going to jus admit to fate!! i must study as much as i can! yesh...

yahs.. i think i better go.. i jus blog for the sake of bloggin.. haha...

lalalalalala..

kk i gtg now..

..

2005-07-19T17:40:00.000+08:00

okie... forgot to show u ppl.. some of the prezzies i haf for my birthday!! thanks so much to all my friends!!!!

this are quite a number of them... hehehe...

duno if ill ever carry this, but we shall c.... hehehe..

is this the jacket?? hahas.. zal bought this for me!! AWWW!! haha.. n i love it!! cuz im wearin it right now..

hrm.. this skirt was given to me from the class.. yeahs.. i think i like it.. though ive not worn a skirt this short b4. hahas... gifs me the courage !! hahas... thanks alot ;p!

this r the stuff.. by ventures.. and also zhengkai.. haha.. hu was a scout!! as u can c.. hahas..

this is the musical aka jewellery box by.. benn wenfang and ben.. yeps.. my three gd friends.. well,one is kinda no longer close. but i appreciate it alot!! hahas.. thanks so so much!! how did u guys know i love precious moments.. also musical boxes!! i have 9 now.. hahas..!! i have a PM crystal ball.. hehe.. given to me.. 2 yrs ago.. by..nurulia, yifang and yeewei also.. haha.. thanks!!

gtg nbow!!

...

2005-07-19T17:11:00.000+08:00

oke.. actualli im ultra busy studying. but onli very little is going in.. my absorbency rate is decreasing.. yah.. whatever right..letme be lame ok.. for once.. hahahas.. okie..
this library is freaking cold.. from my sit.. i look out.. the whole library looks like a frigde.. hahas.. kp frozen ppl.. hu r mugging.. when actualli they r stoning.. jus staring @ their notes.. (think i duno right!!!!) hahas.. well.. its normal.. right?? onli the lappy is warm.. why nt kp myself warm mahs..
besides.. im ill.. my cough.. is.. gg from bad to worse.. hah.s. and i dun actualli care.. cuz im stuffing myself with chocos!! hhas.. my water finish liao.. hahs..
n im trying to learn EOQ!! from... 4.30 till now... 5.30, ive been duin the same thing ok.. cuz ive got a huge feelin its coming out.. yet.. another huge gut feel tt im not able to do it.. so i must pia on tt..
oki.. for a moment. i went crazy with wenfang, takin pics.. haha.. zilian ones. cuz i think studyin is driving us MAD!! reallis.. haha
hey, i bought new earphones.. cuz my spoil liaoz.. hehehe... from co-op, onli.. 8.90 okie!! ahas.. still money.. yahs although i eat le.. its yong tau fu. which was realli plain.. now im hungry again.. hrm.. yest, i no appetite.. whats wrong with me!!hahas... oke..
math paper and BIZCA was so so.. n i jus hope i can pass.. reallis.. now. im hoping i'll finish studyin ITL. looks difficult, at the pass papers.. ooooo.. scary. looks like a definite FAIL! hrm.. okoke.. i know after the CT, i'll still be ultra busy! cuz.. of the many projects.. yeprs.. im deads.. hahas... but! i can du it!!

look at sum pics...we took.. i duno if it can come out.. but if it doesnt.. SRY!

take care all!! study hard!! all the best!

...

2005-07-16T23:16:00.000+08:00

heyheyhey!! im HIGHHH!!! its my birthday!! hahas.. yeahs.. but onli left.. 45 minutes.. of it.. im gona get post birthday sickness.. haha.. gona miss MY DAY!! so much so so much.. hees..

well.. ive got so many ppl to thanks... to my friends!! hahas.. 4e1'04.. Faizal, meiker,wanlin, nurulia, yina, siti, fatin, jason, firdaus, ys, shahrin, tuanquan, amanda, yifang, jianhao, weixian, darius, hrm.. alot alot.. more.. letme think..hahas.. well.. alot lahs!! we went to PIZZA HUT!! ahahs.. jp branch.. ate there n stuff.. oke.. the turn out of my class was a complete surprise for me by myy sayang!! i love him so so much!!! hahas.. yeahs.. olright.. i thought it was onlie the two of us.. and my bdae msgs were.. limited.. hahas.. i thought it was a forgotten saturday.. then surprisingly.. hahs.. AHHH!! i so love my darling, its all because of u!! hahas.. muacks.. yeahs.. had alot of pressies.. part of the.. bdae onlies lahs.. FATIN AND FIR!! thanks so much for the ice cream cake!! i love it!! hehes... yeahs.. thank u all for turnin up !! i realli missed u guys.. and i miss u even more now.. tt ive seen u guys again hahas..

okie.. then also, ventures!! hahas.. sang me a loud bdae song b4 starting the 3rd match.. hahs.. thanks so much! although Kokyeow.. got me a expiry cake.. i know i now.. u change the cake already right!! hahs.. i love my scouts too!! hehes..

also.. a bonus.. i Saw JUNJIE AND JUNBAO.. ehhehs... n they knew it was my bdae!! how did they know my number?? i find it weird.. hehes.. but hey!! thanks so much!!

to all those who msges me.. i might not have thank u enough.. well.. THANKS SO MUCH!! esp, to huizhen.. from pri 6f, and calvin from oolites.. hehes.. ahahah!! im so happy lahs.. hahs..

although i know im in deep shit.. cuz why? i have CT this whole comin wk.. n i habent study lorhs.. nth much lahs. onli fail!! argh.. hehes.. nbm lahs..

THANKS EVERYONE HU HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO MY HAPPPINESS ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!! hehehe.. i LOVE ALL OF U!! but the most is.. I LOVE FAIZAL!! so much!! okies..

heys.. hahas.. my family!! hahas.. went to fish and co.. the glasshse.. ate very fillin sia.. hahs.. loret bought me my fav strawberry choco.. hehes.. the tube one. yahs.. n then..... also... my aunti.. gaf me .. sumthing.. hehes.. im gona save!!

its also the first day!! i wore such a short skirt!! although i know i look sucky in it!! hahs.. i think.. i enjoyed my day alot!! thanks so much.. to benn, fangling and gang for the skirt.. i said i would wear it somehow.. hehes.. okokes..

i gtg study now.. yerps.. jus... half an hr more!! yikes!! im lookin fwd.. to my two yr annivarsary! hahas.. n then XMAS!! hehes..

gtg now, tk!!

2005-07-15T22:34:00.000+08:00

hrm.. oke.. although i din realli take official pics.. like photos and stuff.. we took loads of neos..! haha.. ok what im tokin about?? well.. my dearest class celebrated my bdae for me today.. together with julye!! yahs.. and had a great time.. meal at pasta mania.. then talk n chit chat.. cake.. from benn's shop!! then... neos.. hahas.. we took and took lah basically.. although CT is coming.. at least it was a mind of somthing.. yeahs.. hahas.. i had alot of fun. i was happy tt my friends could be there.. and also my booyfriend.. hahas..

thanks thanks alot!! to.. benn, wenfang, ben, fangling, jieying, julye, peiyi, karine, peiruan, jason, gabriel, zhengkai... yeps.. i love u guys alot!! esp HUGE thanks to benn okie.. i knew somehow.. u planned this.. hahas..

thanks to Faizal!! hu was there foor me after tt.. cuz i wouldnt know where else to be.. haahs.. yahs.. n guys?? a skirt.. u bought me my first official skirt.. hahs.. n i know i haf to wear it i will!! thanks to benn, ben, wenfang.. for the very nice precious moments.. jewellery box.. haha.. hiahai.. i love it!! also, zhengkai!! thanks so much for the scouts.. wooden pendant..its amazing and rare!! hahas.. yershh.. thanks so so much..

now the thing is for us to all.. complete our.. CT.. pass with at least a little spark of colour.. hehe.. yahs.. all the best ppl..!! i will nv forget this day.. yeahs??

gtg.. now..take care..!!

helu!!!~~

2005-07-15T10:30:00.000+08:00

helllos!! okoke.. immediate change of mood.. why why.. why must i let someone else determine my happines?? its my life... its now or never.. okie.. and i onli.. got a 17th birhtday once.. aint gona let nobody bring it DOWNNNN!!! hahas... oke.. i du rmb my.. 13th bdae.. i cried.. cuz of a guy...so young and dumb.. haiyoh

but now i understand the meaning.. of happiness its nded everywhere.. oh yah?? ohyahs.. hahas..

today is the 15th july, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! to XIAOHAN.. from MI (first 3 months) er...OG27 yeps.. hahas.. i rmb okie!! and the rest.. of my grp mates.. know ur birthdays are coming as well.. yerps... cuz we're grped in the date we're born.. lame. but nvm.. hahas.. tt's why so GIAM mah!! rights..

oke.. now the stress part.. having CT next wk.. n i havent study!! im ready for maths though.. think tt i can do it!!! except for the problem sums.. which ive sucked in since.. i was in kindergarten.. hrm.. its a long term developed habit.. hehehe.. BUT! im an A MATHS B3 student.. i can du it!! i think i can.. n i must. cuz ive failed... the last two mini tests.. buacks..

yahs.. yest nite.. i had a mini fever.. and a SPLITTIN headache.. as though there was a WAR gg on inside my head.. i almost died.. hahas.. okoke.. dun so kua zhang lah.. erhm... i had some slp... the kind.. 12am to 10pm kind of 'some slp' hahas.. yahs.. n then!! i din study again.. when.. i stress again.. my CT is this comin wk! today is friday! do i haf time? nope!

im dead. haha.. but nt to complain.. i'll try to du as much as i can within the few days i have left.. i can do it!!

sad.. very sadd.

2005-07-13T12:11:00.000+08:00

i wrote a super long entry yesterday... but it disappeared.. oh well..

dun u think
its sad to have a close friend jus suddenly shut away from ur life?
its sad to know tt he is suddenly shoving u aside??
for fear tt he may offend u again??
the fear of sumthing which might not happen again..
its sad to know.. tt he thinks.. everything he says.. is goin to hurt and den
he chooses.. (on his own) to not talk to his friend
is tt fair??

i duno if ur reading this
but u know
how much alot of us care for u
ur turnin ur back on us
i dun care hu ur nick refers too..
but i know we are also drifting away from u anw..

everytime i msg u or try to tok
u dun reply
u jus gif me the cold shoulder
is tt fair to anyone of us?
y should a happy friendship
like ours..
turn so sour in a mere.. 7 wks..
u tell me?

if u say everything u say will somehow offend
then why didnt it happen 2 wks.. into the term?
why onli after 6 wks?
ur very shalllow.. ur sarcastic
if u think whatever ur duin is right
then ur extremely wrong
very wrong
okie..
dun always rebutt what i have to say
ur not always right

its sad to know tt someone hu means so much to u
will actualli jus shoot u... right in the heart
the last person u thought u would get into a conflict with..
is actualli the first

all bcuz of something tt somehow.. din really happen
its sad to know he said sorry but du it again
its sad to know he is doing what he likes..
he dun care bout u
even though ur almost dying thinkin bout it all the damn blady time

i know what ur gona say when u see all tt
u didnt ask me to think
ask me to stop acting
yah
i know u..
u are egoistic
uve got so much pride

hope time will go back to the last time
when he would msg me first in msn
said hey i saw u jus now
n stuff like tt
msg durin classes
but no
all tt have stopped..
when u would joke with me no matter what
n now.. u say uve got nothin to say to me
is tt hurting?

if i were to tell u tt
ive got nothing to say to u when i used to always try and start a conversation no matter what..
how would u feel?

ur going the wrong way in thinkin bout tis matter
ur so-called solution aint gona help at all

haiz..

i dun even feel like.. having a birthday
one i thought would leave a lastin impact would leave a nasty.. impact
haiz..

n now, i got to go study
my internet is so down
im so sick of it
my dog is goin crazy
yew...

haiz..

..

2005-07-12T01:32:00.000+08:00

okei.. its late.. im still tinkin.. i finished work at last..

i wonder hu is still showin attitude.. i try so hard to tok to u.. but u insist of keepin a distance.. isnt it proven tt ur lying to me? ur lying to me bout.. everythhing.. i apologized for bein dao.. but u jus gave me the cold shoulder. i understand.. oke.. but u dun allow me to go any further then jus understanding.

u made me worried, i ccouldn even slp. then today, u jus treat me as though im translucent. yew.. this feeling sucks.

i have no choice.. u wanto avoid me.. u wanto lose this friendship..

its ur choice.. im treating u nicer..

....

2005-07-05T12:26:00.000+08:00

hellos.. i duno if the pic got up there.. im seriously a com noob rrealli..

i got myself into deep shit. but im definitely getting out of it.. the laast person i wanto be friends with again. is him
erghs.

gif me more attitude and i will show u my own attitude. i dun haf a problem with u but u have a problem with me and i think tt tt is unfair... yucks.. i kinda.. dun like u now..

yucks.

...

2005-07-05T10:26:00.000+08:00

im back. its.. 11.07 am in the morning.. and im in the middle of business finance lesson.. he very funny one but onlie a while lorh. haah. and i dun like BF, cuz i dun get a single thing lah.. its POA!! wanlin, if ur reading. HELP ME!! im so so dead, CT is like.. in one week le.. and im 6 wks behind.. how to cram everything.. into 1 week?? besides.. i have camp this weekend and work next wk.. die! hahs..

okie.. nvm. its not as though im nv in this kind of situation lo.. haiyoh. i hope i can scrape through.. herm..

while i have friends.. in sch, im also rather pressurized by them. i can see tt they r trying while im not. im not wanting to be the lousiest in class.. hah.. jus not tt kind of calibre.. yah.. how come they dun have english.. or combined science.. pianpian must learn those modules, which i hate to the core.
esp, math and econs.. yucks

sometimes i rather not have friends.. so i can be anti-social then study myself. yah.. but tts not nice. dun likes.. haha.. i am too socialble already hahas..

in my mind
i can glide
al the mountains that surround me
my spirit's there will eagles there to fly
in my heart
there's a spark..

SKIPSKIP

i dream, i can run, like the wind and be strong when my heart jus wants to give
i dream, i can be the hero thats in me..
i dream.. i dream..

SIAO

..

2005-07-04T15:53:00.000+08:00

im back, having econs lesson now. and im suppose to listen.. no matter how i tell myself not to be affected by every little small tingy..i find myself.. still fallin.. haiz. even though. its not realli my problem.. and ive got nth to du with it.. all the more he;s got no reason. to.. dao me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

u said sorrie.. but whats the use.. ur being the same. im not ur stress relieving tingy ok..

i know im ur friend.. but dun do this to me.. u wanto take me for granted.. ok fine i know what to do..

haiz, i know ive been neglectiing my yang, hahas.. ive got alot of projects dear but finally ive finished one.. unfortunately.. my common test is coming.. and ive been working haiyoh.. but!! after tt.. u got ur promos..

well, i believe we can TIDE over this HUGE WAVE.. right boy?? like we always du.. tts why we are approaching. the 2 yr mark.. hahas.. yeps.

olright.. gtg ..

..

2005-07-04T09:47:00.002+08:00

hey, im in sch again and today is the beginning of a new week, and the beginning of a fresh start. i believe that i will... chiong from now on. cause i am way behind stuff.. haiz..

wait.. pause from what i wanto say. early morning .. see ahma.. sibei hou haha..cause ahma always make my day!! haha.. yeahs.. although im drenched to the bone.. cause of the heavy downpour today. yucks... i wear jacket and carry the umbrella also no use leh.. the rain still got to me haiyoh..

okie.. as i was saying, i wanto study hard. with the moral support of sayang haha.. okok.. wait i cont'd .. gtg for lesson..

..

2005-07-04T09:47:00.001+08:00

..

2005-07-04T09:47:00.000+08:00

..

2005-06-30T23:14:00.000+08:00

im tired..
im shacked..
im lazy..
im broke..
im tearing
im sad
im sad
im disappointed
im disgraced
im too much
im trying..
im smiling..
he dun getiit..
im gullible
im crazy

ergh..
im so so tired..

...

2005-06-28T20:16:00.000+08:00

hrm, im hme and ready to do my work
thought of sleeping first..
but then i know i'll nv wake up.
ha..
so im not going
hahah.. to sleep i mean
yerps..
well..
erh.. hah.. i have japanese speakin test tmr..
boy am i scared!
very!
hahaha... cuz i m not sure bout..
what to do and say also.
haha.. i didnt pay to fail..
phewy..
hrm..
i also have to hand in..
econs tutorial 2 tmr..
ergh... n im not sure what to so also..
yucks..
ha.. hrm..
i wanto change my blogskin
to sumthing more purplish..
yeahs..

hrm, common test is coming
im scared
i fail..
cuz.. the army is at my backing
can someone plz help me improve my work?
im lazy..
need someone to wake me up..
im trying to do my econs now..

4e1, heyhey.. long time no c u guys
n i kinda miss yahs..
also.. hah..
hueva tagged in my blog.. bout the PJ thingy
can u plz.. ?? erhem..
its my blog..
i wanit to be nice and innocent..
not tt i am innocent..
aha.. whateva

LM04!! i hope sumthings jus clear up soon
and everything will be as the same
of course
sometimes things will never be the same..
but jus a teeny weeny detection of last time??
sry benchua and benn... and jaymie..
i kind of ps u all today..
want the three of u to know
i really treasure our friendship
also..
i wanto thank u guys for the moral support..
and i like u guys alot!!

but, plz dun play me..
dun blow hot and cold..
im a cancerian..
i have my vulnerabilities..
dun step over..

oke.. start work now!
toodles..

Dance sport n venturing RulES!!

so does jap.. haha..

tiaoz...

2005-06-28T08:50:00.000+08:00

hey everyone.. i sincerely think.. im too stressed up.. whats UP WITH ME!!!! i sound so blady dead.. i think everyone is going their way.. n i see true colours here n there..

whoever was close to me.. aint close anymore..
whoever who wasnt.. is close to me now..
will this stay the same
will it get better??
or will it get worst!!

im suppose to do econs tutorial 3 hand in next wk.. n tutorial.. 2 due tmr.. n guess what.. i havent done nor understand anything.. yucks

..sian..i duno why im in such a lousy mood..

2005-06-27T15:13:00.000+08:00

although... no one can see the title.. of this entry.. i guess u can guess it. even by readin this entry.. haiz..

i duno what is it thats bugging me inside.. its kind of like.. a.. pulling.. pain.. that kind of.. loneliness.. feeling.. hrm.. dun worrie.. zal is still with me.. we have not broken up..

i think its jus me.. n my thinking..

im sad.. im affected by so many stuff thats happeneing right now. to add oil.. my common test is coming.. in 2 weeks..

like i said b4.. lm04 is a gd n bonded class.. but.. this kind of thing dun last for long.. right now.. there are already all sorts of conflicts. in my class.. and im quite.. hurtful bout it.. im not directly involved rather.. hurt that my friends.. are quarellin with each other.. angry with each other.. hrm.. its sad..

hrm, also i have my own feelings to care for.. n thats onli for my personal diary to know. jus wanto say tt.. im disappointed in myself..

i dun like the way.. some girls act... is downright.. unecessary.. fark it..

yoyoyoyo..

2005-06-26T13:46:00.000+08:00

its sunday, and has been a long time since i blogged.. yeps i jus woke up.. its.. almost.. 2pm now.. pig! but.. cannot blame me..im drained.. off my strength.. hah..

had yr 1 games two days ago.. and had alot of fun really.. LM04 simply rules.. we got our jerseys on tt day itself man.. hah mine is the number 7!! hee... thats my fav number u see.. and a few of my friends are rather pissed i beat them to getting the number 7!! hee.. SORRY!! to ben, jaymie, benn.. hah.. okok. the number.. 8,17,22 not so bad mah.. hee..

kk, badminton i was partnering with peiyi.. the opponent we were against.. was so super good in badminton.. hah.. she keep smacking until me and peiyi buay tahan.. haha.. but we tried keeping our cool.. and cont'd graciously with the game.. hah.. yeah.. n we also lost graciously.. but i think we played a good game. considerin that we are only novices in badminton and our opponents are actially professionals.. haha.. yeahs? also, our soccer team.. won the first opponent.. then lost in the semi-finals.. haha.. good game guys! hha.. the captain ball!! haha.. our girls team won.. lah.. they are the champions.. and boy does it feel good! haha.. and we have all decided to join the MDE society as a class.. i think im gona be awfully busy. haha..

yeah. hw hw hw and projects projects projects.. all not done.. entirely at least.. shucks man.. i think its really very stressful.. i hope i can simmer down for a while.. haha.. well actually ive been really lazy.. so i cant say ive been workin hard.. been slackin.. i deserve a HUGE SLAP! hee.. PIACK! ouch.. okok.. lame..

hrm, Dardar is back from aust. did i tell u? n he bought me a gift which i love alot! haha.. he is jus the SWEETEST! haha... and thanks for accompanying me whenever.. i am.. thinking of ponning.. haha..

also to jaymie.. it was nice hanging out with u.. that thursday.. haha.. it was as though we had nothing else to care for ..ahah.. went to JP with her.. eat and caught a movie.. yeps.. ALOT LIKE LOVE. its an awesome movie.. haha.. n i suggest anyone who wants to go watch this movie..should watch with ur bf/gf.. haha.. if ur single.. yeps just go watch with someone close to u as a friend.. yah? haha..

kk now, i gtg
do my work..
im serious.
im really going to do my work..
im trying to finish oke.
hrm.. sianz..
kk.. msg my darling..
hah..
take care all!

phew..

2005-06-21T09:33:00.000+08:00

helo, this is reg in the house.. again... ha, anw i jus finised my econs test.. online ah.. and i got a 60% which.. i think is ok.. considerin i haven been listenin in class.. haha.. and i pon yesterday's econs lecture.. haha.. my god. but all for my yang.. haha.. so ITS OKE!! i even forego the treat given by mam zaitun.. ahha.. at seoul garden.. yeah. i am SOOOO modest.. what the.. BHB.. hehe.. i am suppose to.. be doin my tutorial now.. hah.. budden nvm lah. although the lecturer is jus wallkin around. lookin at us.. ha.. so funny. but i think he also dun really care ah..

anw, this friday, there is a port visit.. or somthing. and it games day or sumthing.. yeps.. there are so many things happenine now.. im quite blur.. okei. gtg now.. lesson over haha!

..

2005-06-15T22:32:00.000+08:00

hmm, im sitting infront of the tv.. and nip and tuck is jus about to start. i just watched the show eye for a guy and boy am i sad.. i mean, howard is such a sweet guy and i would have chosen him. i think that if denise keller did not have a scandel with wolfgang.. she might have chosen howard!! howard actually wrote a fairly tale for her, told her he had a crush on her, made her feel young and treated her with such gentleness.. AND!! that stupid wolfgang, he gave me the impression as one of those kind of guys who sweet talks, toks all the crap, think he is VERY VERY nice, buys nice gift, and then think he is very handsome and think that any girl would fall for her!!! yucks.. i hate such jerks.. and unfortunately, such people exists.. even in the near regions... and some of my girlfriends are their victims.. pathetic guys.. yew.. makes me wanto SLAP THEM!!

ok, on the other hand, ppl like Howard.. is extinct.. such guys jus no longer exists, he is super super.. genuinely sweet.. and i think he is very adorable.. and cute.. hrm, i hope he is the next bachelor or someting, hope he finds someone nice. haha, yeps.. okk.

now... hrm, i miss faizal, he havent been around for many days. ahha.. cuz he is in australia.. yeps.. he comes back only on sunday.. well. im goin to batam tmr, and also coming back only on sunday. so, the days wont drag as much haha..

yeah, i will jus feel guilty missing lessons again. i mean, missing one single lesson.. jus gifs me.. so so mch.. problems cuz the amount of work given to us.. is so so much.. and those not working cant even finish their work.. imagine those having part time jobs?? for eg, me, myself and i! yew.. haha..

gtg now, take care peeps!

Why am i so bored.. of life..

2005-06-14T10:46:00.000+08:00

hey dear bloggy, i am in sch now having business finance, and the lecturer is talking about.. depreciation.. n i duno what the hell is tt about, although i have the bk right infront of me. haha.. wel.. lazy ppl always duno whats happening around.

somehow, here in poly, i feel different then i was in secondary sch, i was a much happier person there, n i know the problems.. that my friends have..how come when i was in sec sch, i was so participative in the cca's n the council.. but now?? im like a hermit..

.. haiz..

...

2005-06-13T00:28:00.000+08:00

haha.. heylor.. im writing in cuz.. my mind.. is jammed up.. i cant really think of much things, esp when im.. sleepy.. hrm, well, i miss sayang alot, its his.. 3rd day in australia n i hope he is having fun, though at the same time i wan him to be back soon..hah..

sch is ok, projects thrown at us.. never ending.. n i think its alot, but maybe im jus not used to it.. i should take it easy, furthermore i have my lappy alredy.. n i have wireless.. at hme.. (shhh), haha.. yeps.. thats what im usin now.. erh..

i am workin still, but i have taken a week break from tt, as well as a break from ventures.. i duno if its approved.. but i think they wont let me?? hrm, im realli.. pressured with my sch work, what more, when its the third week.. coming fourth, n i still duno my modules well.. hrm, tok bout wanting to be a gold medallist, im not even participating in any. ambassador.. or hard core cca. whats up.. not as active as in secondary.. hrm..

ok, i gtg now.. cya..

..

2005-06-05T01:26:00.000+08:00

hey, my heart is feeling extremely fragile.. and i jus wanto sit n search myself, y am i feeling so sore.. feeling so terrible,y am i not understanding to the ppl i am suppose to be.

but, i decided not to blog so much here.. rather my own diary which i have neglected..also, the entries for my bf.. r not read anw..its no point..

i haf alot of work.. im very very.. i duno how to say.. i jus feel tt my tears r rushing to come out.. trying to jus spill.. i feel i can flood the whole house.. words r hard to describe.. smiles r decieveing.. dun take me as one.. hu's expected to smile everyday..

gtg.. haiz.. :'(

...

2005-06-01T21:41:00.000+08:00

ko ni chi wa!! o genki deska!! hrm.. regynna des.. here.. anw.. hrm, this is already the second wed of the week. haha.. n i think i missed quite alot of lesson. cuz every wed morning i got napfa.. but no more!! im done with it!! at last.. haha.. hope the army makes a decision soon enough..

hrm, i havent got my laptop, its taking a long time... i mean i havent even purchased it yet lahz... but my parents cant buy it one shot.. hrm, i goto understand too.. but the lectureres are not so patient.. haha, they will ask where'r ur notebook??? haiz. sianz..

anw, hw hw hw, its piling up lahz.. n i wonder where did ppl get the iddie tt.. poly slack!! no way!! its so stressful lahz, n my classmates r very hiong.. always study one.. so.. pressure pressure..:\

hrm.. also i wanto thank my sayang!! for being there for me when i really was down down.. ha, he made me come to my sense again n think properly.. he was there for me to lie on his shoulder.. he is my dearest!! for giving me his hankie when i cried n couldnt take the stress when tt idiot man scolded me.. hrm.. haha.. darling!! i love u very mucch!!!! tis whole paragraph is dedicated to my faizal!!

erm, n to my class!! thanks for making my time in np happy so far!! haha, although i feel im not so close to u ppl yet!! im not quiet.. haha.. im very very noisy. haha, trust me!

okei.. i gtg now.. take care!!

...

2005-05-27T22:56:00.000+08:00

hrm, my dear self.. i duno why am i so affected by matters which my friends dun gif a shit about, sumtimes i wish im not hu i am. not in terms of lookks and stuff, rather, the way i think, the way i feel about things..

i treasure friendships so much, im putting myself into unnecessary mental downness.. every little thing tt happpens, im affected. even when we're separated.. i understand the fact tt we make new friends.. n then urself will change.. haha, oh well...

logistics.. is not easy at all.. the modules.. r whoa.. n there is alot of hw.. thinking of giving ventures up.. i duno..

hrm, n furhther more, i dun haf a laptop.. n my net is down.. i cant access hw.. shucks..

i gtg..

...

2005-05-25T22:41:00.000+08:00

hey, today is the second day of sch.. and yeps... i dun think i started out well..ha

i'll start with first day, okie.. lessons were boring.. all the business finance n econs.. tiaoz.. well, okie. we haf to buy all the expensive textbks.. sian.. haha n they r those kind thinker n longer then the normal a math textbk. haha.. omg.. n hu dare to say poly slack? i now damn kanchong lahz, wanto faster buy bks then study.. hah

also, i wan wireless, so i can work in sch also, sianz.. haha, i dun have!! n my laptop is erjie one, damn old t kind lahz, currently.. haha, im not the kind tt look at guys, so i think i will studr hard hard bah.. poly ex lehh.. haha

anw, today second day, suppose to have napfa at toa payoh stadium, fatin accompany me go, cuz i duno how mahz, she so gd right??? "one thank you clap!!" 'kam sia' hahahahahaha... tt means thank u fatin, arigato.. aha..missed napfa cuz it was raining, so postponed to next week. haha, i missed intro to log also today.. but i managed to go for math lesson, she jus intro intro, she's alot like mr koh, teach maht but also, tell us all bout the student councillor n recruiting at the same time.. so we kinda get priority should they have any new project .. yeps.. hrm.. what else.. yeash, i had jap lesson at 6pm, it was so so much fun. i like jap language.. haha.. but the writing is a little too chim.. haha, today first lesson onli mah.. hee..

i gtg liaoz.. haha, nd to.. lk lk through my notes.. sa-yo-na-ra!!

....

2005-05-23T23:26:00.000+08:00

okie, this will be short, i havent blog for ages.. and i came back from MDE camp already. met my classmates.. and they are very very nice and rowdy. thats fun right??
and im starting school tmr!! so excited lahz, but there are alot of things i havent done.. like my hike log.. pltc stuff.. opps.. haha

kk i gtg.. tell u bout sch tmr..

2005-05-15T02:22:00.000+08:00

long time since i blogged but i think everyone should be used to that. also once in a while then click my link. ahha anyway, its already the 15 may. time sure flies.. i am starting school.. in 9 days.. nafa is in 10 days.. haha, am i dead? i hope i can pass my nafa man.. i better. haha..

sch excites me, the fact that i dun have to slack anymore really really entices me lahz.. ive been a couch potato for too long, too too long. im rotting already. work onli takes up... 1/18 of my time haha, the rest?

oh, actualli, i also ddun have much time, all with ventures and friends. haha, besides, the time where somehow,juniors have so much to plan and do. haha.. yeps. reason why im still online so late is not cuz i was chatting.. i was doin work. some proposal for ventures.. PLTC. haha, i had quite alot of fun doin that. its like planning and stuff.. hah, although its abit boliaoz.. i think its fine. better then staring at a square thingy. today's meeting we had to hike around woodlands. gdness, i didnt even realize they had terraces inside until.. 16 yrs later aha.. it was overall.. satisfying cuz we didnt get lost or anything, onli sumtimes there was lost of direction.. haha..

also, previous night, there was ph spring cleaning.. we scrubbed the lines.. from black to white lorh.. it was fun also.. onli it made me realli tired..

n ya, i didnt see nurulia yesterday or.. today.. haha. we always hand around together. going to plaza mac.. sitting and talking. haha.. yeps, i told u we have plenty of time at hand.. hah, i saw my timetable.. and i think.. friday sucks. cuz i finish.. at 5pm!! zal finishes officially at 10.30am, then drag until.. 12.30 then prayers until 2pm. hrm.. sry darling. Fridays are out now..

i wanto volunteer with the RDA, riding sumthing sumthing, where we learn to lead horses and ponies with the handicapped children and adults on their backs. haha, i think its very meaningful to spend sat afternoons like tt, besides... i love horses!! esp riding them althoough i duno how. i wish to own a realli black n sleek horse.. haha.. Black Beauty. haha..

okei, i think i betta go now.. monday im having.. MDE camp.. god.. i'll nv be free..
going to miss abang alot.. haha.. muacks!

eLeaNs 4!!

2005-05-10T10:41:00.000+08:00

hey, this is reg!! duh, okie.. hrm, i got nth much to blog actualli but i realize if i log on to msn first, i'll nv get my blogging done. haha, i'll be yakkin away with my friends.. that means u ppl lahz.. so now im not logged on to msn. haha, i blog first. also the reason being, i nd to walk rocky dear, dun wanto make him wait. Rocky is my dog!! okei...

yesterday?? nurulia came over again, bought lunch n stuff then i saw tt lady's picture.. or should i say girly girl girl.. hrm, i duno why sum ppl can jus be such.. B**ch, budden again, she might also be a victim.. then i should say why some guys can be such jerks.. jus dun think of anyone else but their own pleasure n needs, yew! get a life..

anw, after tt, i had to go to BP mac again to meet ailing for my hike log, i havent done it mah, but yesterday i managed to complete one checkpt.. what a loser right!! i mean me.. hrm, cuz sayang was there n nurulia also. we saw jianhao. yifang, weekiong n aretha.. they learning a maths.. n i totally forget sia.. scared poly will learn a mths.. then when the teacher ask me whats my grade for olevel?? then i say b3, then i duno!! sure kena laugh one lorh.. buck up girl!!

i finished my first checkpt then i saw roy and charma, wave wave, after tt i got no mood to do already.. sianz.. aha, so i waited for wanping, bing hong and ailing for for dinner at ljs.. combo 1 again lahz.. as normal.. its the cheapest!!

hrm, l had to go ph check my roster.. ailing n binghong went with me lahz.. we walked there lahz, i duno why but it kinda saved my ezlink card money.. adult fare suxs!! big time man.. haiz. so i have to make do with walking.. after tt after all the long way there.. guess what?? i only got nxt monday.. 5-10p.. shucks.. ha, n whats better?? i cannot make it on tt day... cuz i having MDE camp.. i very suay leh.. haha.. but fatin gave me her slot for today.. 4-10pm, thanks u gerl!! and im very very happy u got a course in SP.. haha, they abit slow in replying right?? hah, nvm!!

okie, my dear faizal.. haha.. i miss him loads.. not tt i wanto declare here lahz.. but i really du!!

gtg now, goto wash, hang, pack, iron, walk the dog, sweep, finish my hike log, think of games, think of first aid.. hey anyone wanto be me?? jk lahz, im happy with my life!! take care all!! byebye!!

back!!

2005-05-09T11:58:00.000+08:00

heyoz ppl, everyone.. haha sorry i havent been blogging for such a long time, been busy with my night hike preparation, the hike itself, the aftermath of the hike and then i had to go for CAMP!! FOC camp... hee, n i am proudly from ELEANS 4!! haha, okok.. relax..

anw, when i was away in NP, i so lost touch of things happening outseld, my dear grss pals.. sorry u couldnt contact me, my hp bill didnt pay again!! hrm, dear nurulia, liike i told u, stop thikning so much of him esp, its totally a waste of time n energy and realli drains ur mental strength. if u think about all tt, why waste all tt on him?? i mean, tt jerk dun deserve u fallin sick cause of his.. inconsiderate actions. he was not thinking of u if he dared to have another gf behind ur back, not at all. why gif him what he didnt even think of giving u?? get what i mean?? im so fed up with all these idiots hu dun think b4 they du anything, really.. any girl who know how it feels must definitely know what i mean. ha, ive been dumped b4, and its not anyones fault. its just feelings going everywhere else. guys are fickle minded, n its their character which makes them boys.. STOP THINKING OF HIM!! he is not not not worth it..

hrm, sad jus thinking about that la.. reminds me of my past also.. but oh well... we jus got to move on gerl.. gettit??

okay.. ELEANs 4 is my grp from FOC camp.. i had great fun n made many many friends.. and i am so glad that i got a grp of friends who are super active n enthu.. plenty of them lost their voice.. haha.. let me try to recall their names.. angela, debbie, jasmine, jocelyn, xiuling, xinyi, litang, yeeying, ben,rongming, darren, ivan, solid, siva, zhenqi, deenie, yda, johanna.. many many more lahz. we very bonded, cuz the day after we break camp we already go n hang out together at marina square, play bowling n pool haha.. dun remind me,, the guys play tt time very serious one. will kp wanting to win.. tiaoz.. its onli a pool game la!!! anw, back to the camp, we had super cool GL's, like jasmine, patrick and benjamin.. yepyepp.. they were also very enthu. i guess tts how we all got the enthusiasm haha.. we learnt alot of cheers and i got quite a difficult time rmbering the cheers.. most were in hokkien.. the whole eleans is hokkieny lahz.. cuz oour DH is 'ah beng', he is so so funny.. realli.. wl, actualli sumtimes there was a certain degree of boredom but he entertain then not so le.. haha.. ALFRED RULZ.. eleans oei!! oei!! eleans oei!! oei!! elenas oei!! gambade gambade ah!!! haha.. its still ringing in my head lahz.. anw, thats bout it.. haha

hrm, i havent been to work for a long time.. shucks.. kinda miss pizza hut, not the food lahz.. jus wokrin there.. haha.. i miss my grss pals even more lahz.. also not forgetting, i have to complete my hike log bby this 14 may.. gosh.. tt means this sat.. i havent started!!! next wk, i have my MDE camp, siva!! go with me!! i dun wanto be alone.. haha.. this friday there is convention day.. yeps.. busy?? yea. busy.. haha..

but!! i can du it!! n i must du it!! take caare all LPS, GRSS, venture comrads, pizza hut colleagues, Elean warriors!!

harlo.

2005-04-30T16:16:00.000+08:00

its been long since i last post haha.. now im in chuan eng hse with zal n jason.. yeps.. their playing thier stuff... yeps..

i haf a hike tonight. n i expect alot of fun.. haha,
i think i would la. cuz its night time.. haha.. i jus hope i can draw
anw, tues till fri i have camp hehehe... oh my.. busy busy..

k lahz... blog awhile onlie... gtg..

unreasonable..

2005-04-21T23:50:00.000+08:00

actualli i have many reasons to be angry n upset n be realli pissed of.. know y.. cuz i've got ppl hu r around me.. hu r the same.. they r jus so unreasonable..

haiz.. im so angry lahz.. the moment my parents step into the hse, they make so much noise.. ok.. n furthermore, yina n jasmine was here.. im not embarassed.. they're jus duin tt to themselves.. i could have screamed at them man.. i dun fuckin care...

the rice cooker, i wasnt hme the whole freakin day today, i couldnt wash the cooker, duh?? it was in the basin, on top of a plate n fork, i lifted the cooker n washed the plate n fork.. i didnt have the time for the cooker.. ya, so i left it there.. nite time, mother comes in n spots it, n scold me like anything.. why nv wash.. lazy lah.. tis n tt.. w/o askin.. y!! y!!!! im no maid.. i didnt eat dinner at hme.

im tired lahz... haiz, my father wont quit messin around with the dog, he jus likes to scare it, if it dies sooner then it should i know hu to blame.. it isnt us, its him. he thinks he is so big scaring a dog.. whats up.. cant pick somthing ur own size?? i was so worried for it, cuz it was leashed.. it kps wantin to back away from my father.. the leash caught onto its neck, told nytta to put him at the back, she say nvm.. then i see my dad.. disturbin it again so i warned nytta n she did.. what my father say?? " only know how to order ppl, duno how to do it urself.. huh feed also mus call n ask ppl to feed.. duno how to feed ur own" fuck it.. okie, he was referrin to yesterday. i was late to feed rocky, i called hme askin my sster to feed first, is tt wrong???? hell no!!

then jus now?? my mum ask me to pull her white hair.. im tired.. n shacked.. n when i dun wan means i dun wan... then she started sayin what kind of daughters.. huh.. what shit, what lah.. now ask u du a little bit thing also dun wan.. next time sure wont gif money.. threatens to pull the internet connection wire.. n did.. childish act.. i refused.. say so many things.. like not filial, ya n when i pull for her? she does nth, nth at all.. i am very angry inside.. n upset.. very very upset.. i wanted to shout.. " like u are a gd mother to me.. what have u done as a gd mother?? " nth.. ppl have to cook dinner for me.. cuz my mum dun!! then talks bout the hp bill... if she dun wanto to pay.. then DUN... i can throw the damn hp away.. now she takes my hp. away.. fine! its not my everything okie..

pissed......

since there is no title..

2005-04-21T19:12:00.000+08:00

helu, i dun wana change the font colour lah.. black makes it darker so can rd better, dun have to squint anymore.. hah..

anw, what did i wanto blog yest??? hrm... orh!!! orh, i know i know.. yesterday i was out the whole day.haha.. rmb i had to go for checkup right... boy did it last!
thank god nurulia went with me, at least i had companion.. Thank u!!!! haha, but i did meet new friends who were also in the JPSDS, at least in the process. we had to go through the checkup togeta.. haha, both are from RP. haha.. know republic poly? yep... one is Andrea 18 yrs old and the other girl, sheeta 20 yrs old.. haha they were very very funny, trust me.. mixing with me n nurulia.. was hilarious..

ooke... the medical checkup first, i had to go into this rm.. thank god she was a lady.. hrm, i had to du the unthinkable, i hated it okie.. yucks.. but ya nvm.. its worth it.. hahaha.. then the hearing test.. th very first sound i heard i didnt raise my hand sia.. stupid.. then i laugh in the sound chamber.. its so funny!! after tt, the soildier.. outside had to wait for me to stop laughin b4 he could cont'd... he gave me those smile, like he nv come across a em.. 'patient' like me, i think he thinks im mad.. or sumthing close to tt.. haha sorrye.. i cant help it!

hrm, then the horrible thingy.. unexpected.. okie.. the take urine part wasnt the one tt was horrible.. it was the blood takin.. personally, im not scared of the prickin type of takin blood, he did exactly tt.. olright, then he said proceed inside.. saying 'the prince will take ur blood' haha.. then i was 'huh'?? he jus took my blood u see.. then he said.. its the needle drawin kind... i was like .. TOOT TOOT TOOT, freaked out.. i tried frantically to look for.. some kind of evidence to show tt im a A+ blood type... it wasnt anywere!! not even in my health booklet.. haiz.. no choice, im afraid of tt huge needle lahz..sorry, i dun mind being called chicken for this.. haha.. he drew out my blood.. haha.. after a long time of hesitation.. sorrye!! waste time onlie..

after tt, went for the dental thingy... had xray n the normal check of teeth.. hee..zz i have gd healthy teeth!! tts what the dentist say.. but the xray right, i had to take off even my earrings n pins.. im a pinny girl, imagine how long it took for me to remove them haha..

then to the real whole body xray, the quest "are u by any chance pregnant??" i got a huge shock.. then i ask the doc, why du u ask these questions??? then she started tellin me why, but i didnt listen.. hahaha.. i know y lahz.. jus wanted to piss the doc.. haha... like nurulia say " du i look pregnant???!!" omg haha.. no way!!

after tt the eyesight.. haha... i stayed there onli a little while.. haha.. my eye sight olready wear spec mahz.. so what right.. then back to the first station.. n i got a PES A, i duno whats tt lahz.. jus sayin.. haha.. but im medically FIT!! for any vocation.. haha.. yes!! i hope i get into the army, left one nafa test!! haha..

then after tt, went with my army friends n nurulia to tiong bahru to eat lahz... then i accompanied nurulia to TP with her mum.. on the way there, sheeta, andrea myself n nurulia laughed so so much the whole trained was probably cursin us haha.. even idiotic unknown.. think-they-very-smart sch boys.. who look realli puny... said we were very noisy.. then sheeta whispered.. "hey, they say we very noisy" then said aloud "turn ur volume louder!!" haha... we basically LOL lahz..

at tp, nurulia's mum was fun to be with, she's jus like a small lady haa... u know.. she' not borin like most mums hahaha... seriously.. after tt she headed hme while nurulia n me went to martin rd to collect my seventeen card.. it was nice!! i mean, its nice!! i love it man.. then nurulia also wanted to make one, special case.. jus had to gif her particulars.. no nd to waste stamp fare.. haha.. 25 cents.. hrm.. after tt we jalanjalan at great world.. haha.. i like alot of clothes.. but its i think im too big to wear them.. furthermore there's the financial... barrier.. hrm.. sian..

okie, today?? i woke up at 11am, tts late i know.. haha.. then went to meet nurulia to slack at glendale park, it was like a whole apartment to ourselves..cuz her grandma went out.. yepyep..we had the shuttle bus to westmall... bought some foodstuff n... hha. sumthings... then went back... all in less then an hr.. cool???? haha... cooked there... with lizzie.. around.. n roger+pink watchin the mini tv.. haha.. it was delicious!! haha.. beehoon tomyam.. haha.. after tt.. what huh..

cont'd to slack lahz.. then after tt.. erm.. went to causeway to buy rocky boy's food.. haha then jalanjalan agaain.. haha.. then i came hme.. im so tired.. haha..

thank god shereena took my place in work.. haha.. but tmr up till monda.. i'll be workin.. tts gd though.. haha..got money to earn!!!

haha.. i'll get my pay tmr!!!! yes!!!! gtg now.. tata.. now.. where's tt rocky.. hrm..

hu's wondering???

2005-04-19T16:22:00.000+08:00

anyone wondering.. erm.. why im amoy?? sounds old right.. but one of the PH riders.. call me tt!! n he dun wanto tell me y.. mebbe cuz.. there was one time i tied my hair up in a bun.. then he started callin me amoy.. omg

some of the riders calls me regina belle, or.. the regina sumthin for the bikes?? i duno..

some calls regynn, reg, baba, nonya.. what not..

n the ventures!!! call me, banana, ribena, army de, haha..

its fun though, no sense of identity haha.. randomly gif a name....

tmr!!!!!!! i have medical checkup!!! yeah!!!! 9.30am, its not tt i like it.. its jus tt.. haha... its for the army.. n the officer who interviewed me told me tt.. if i am called up for a checkup, means tt im selected.. !!! yesh!!! yeahs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha.. kk gtg..

going to see sayang's brother, nazril, play rugby in GRSS... hrm.. spore too small.. haha.. tata!

boy do i miss dem..

2005-04-19T16:07:00.000+08:00

hrmm.. i so haf nth to do.. so i went to look through.. the pics i have in my com.. n..

haiz.. boy do i miss my friends.. everyone of them.. had an impact on me.. whether big or smal..

i love every single one of them.. haha..z .. ok, maybe not every single one.. haha..

but most of them..

4E1'2004 simply rulz..

seriously.. haha.. lets meet up???

matthew.. if u rd my blog.. i have sch in the june period.. so, em, try bkin on wkends??

so the poly peeps can at least make it for a nite.. LOL

how du u peeps like the layout of my blog?? its a little girlish.. but, i du like the bear.. haha.. wener as well!! haha..

n i read ur blog nurulia, thanks for mentionin me all the time ha, thanks for accompanying me to pay my fees as well.. hah..

hee..

im bored, while workin yest, there was those zhenghua sec bunchies n their drop-out friends..

i dun mean to be mean.. jus the minority la.. freakin asses asked for my number time n again, then i go n tell yazid.. he scold them in chinese..

the guys were quite h though.. ha.. i think onli.. 1e1'01 girls know whats 'h' n 'hg' haha.. its our trademark..

there was so much fun then man.. the work.. the after sch hours.. the occasions.. the new outfits.. goin gaga over maths.. takin.. photos out of nowhere.. laughin n laughin at nth..

being positively mean to each other.. hiahia.. yet still friends.. i duno y.. haha..

anw.. alvin helped me construct tis blog, in fact its still under construction.. haha.. any com probs or queris.. plz contact alvin.. haha.. he's good man!! elfvin@gmail.com

tk all of u!! see ya soon!!

Many minor... achievements!! plus.. a little bit of down..

2005-04-18T12:09:00.000+08:00

heyya... alll out there.. hrm, its been long since i last blog haha..sorrie!! im not busy, jus a combination of being lazy, having slow internet speed and also, workin all the time at night.. haha.. so pardon me !!! at least i blog now.. haha

ok start from where?? hrm, been trainin and training my runnin last few wks for the sake of sports day.. ahah.. held last friday.. n guess what!!! haha.. im so happy bout this.. we got 2nd in the 4 by 100m, heee... it was unexpected for me. but i wanted a little sumthing.. since we trained like hell.. the onli free day left in the wk.. was also taken up.. haha.. my team members are.. aaron, myself, fatin and faizal!! haha.. of course, we owe alot to aaron and my dear faizal, their.. speed is whoa!! haha.. budden, the teachers are fast as well.. thats why can get first lah.. get on NIE teacher, mr lee, ms yong n ms eng.. hrmm... but nvm.. its oke.. haha.. third was nurulia tt team, consistig of... herself, amanda, chuan eng and jianhao.. hehe.. we ah... 2nd 3rd also take..

hrm.. then next day i had ventures at east coast!! erm.. i mean west coast.. haha.. east too far, we climbed the spider web and had few obstacles .. definitely, i had lots of fun!! hu doesnt with the ventures?? haha.. but, i couldnt du the rope.. as in.. climbed to the top and tap the bannister.. boy, tt was one difficult one for me,, haha.. but with the huge encouragement of the ppl in ventures... i managed to climb to the end.. n i thought i couldn manage the first few... thanks alot thanks alot!!!! to all venturers.. haha.. but i got a huge really discoloured bruise on my arm.. hee.. buts its okie.. which acheivement doesnt come with.. pain first?? actualli, tis is pain later..

haiyoh.. last wkend.. i had STC camp, also ventures, we could slack alot, trust me.. but night time we could not.. haha.. we had to du patrollin, and in the end.. instead of one shift.. i did three shifts in a row.. with my fellow.. venturers.. it was as though there was sum kind of picnic smack right in the middle of the fitness area.. haha.. shibin bought a whole packet of ruffles haha.. and i had to finish it.. and until now!!! shibin, if ur reading...... until now i still haf a bad cough!!!

up till 24may, i'll be jobless, besides my night time shift pizza hut, which earns peanuts... hu can into a gd payin job????? hrm.. i prefer serving.. haha.. i like ppl, n i love smilin.. so y not make use of what i haf???? haha.. help me out here plz!!!!

faizal n me haf been togeta.. for 20mths.. haha.. n a few days.. it was dangerous the last few wks, all with his starting of jc.. haha.. its difficult :( haha.. butbut...... i think ive gotten through worse with him b4, n we still, fortunately, get by.. all tt... and come up again as a happy happy couple... hee...z right zal!!???

ok.. coming down to sumthing more serious... my father was admitted to hospital.. hrmm.. las thurs morn.. it was suspected mild heart attack.. and god bless him.. i duno how to show my concern.. cuz, im jus not the family type.. more solo in a family.. haha.. of course we went to visit him n stuff... one happy thing!! he'll be discharged today!!! haha....

also, rocky was sick,, still is i think, he vomiited all over the plazce n had erm.. diarrhoea.. is tt how u spell it?? haha.. but i think he's fine now.. jumpin all over the place as usual.. hahhaha

anw, sch starts 24 may, i realli like np.. i think.. except for the fact tt its huge, jus walkin in makes me tired.. haha.. matriculation day for me was ok, cuz alot of guys were nearby askin to join this camp n tt camp.. haha.. n there was those compulsory ones... haha.. yep.. i got a free tee!! n its.. S siza.. hahah... okok lahz... they think im small.. god.. no.. haha.. the food there is cheap cheap.. man.. haha... n the portion is reasonable.. haha...

okie.. i talk too much.. haha.. gtg now lahz.. take cares yals!!

save it.. or lose it??

2005-04-06T23:29:00.000+08:00

why issit.. sumtimes.. when u wan sumthing so much... u will go all out.. put all ur effort into it.. n then get it..

den.. after a long while.. the.. fire die out.. no refueling.. then slowly.. everything disappears...

there is nth more to du about it.. n yet no one wants to rectify the problem.. what should u du? try saving it.. or jus lose it?

sumtimes i hope, nth started.. so u wont feel any feelings of lost.. any pain.. nth happens.. when u have nth..

then again, im so glad it happened.. cuz i know what love is.. i know how it feels like to be pampered off.. n taken care off.. n be looked after.. to be protected.. to be loved.. but.. only to fear.. tt it might all stop..

different.. schhs sucks.. haiz..

mixed feelings..

2005-04-01T16:16:00.000+08:00

now all i haf is my precious rocky..by my side.. haha..

i wanto thank.. meiker for helping me dye my hair.. lo'real abit no use... dye like still dye black hor?? dun care la.. hrm.. opps.. i think i shouldnt speak singlish anymore.. all the la and le.. later my bf dun wan me anymore.. .. ..

but du i care?? no..

a relationship sours n sweetens again all the time.. and when it really sours n sours n sours.. than too bad.. its time to let go.. right?? thats why wener is a much happier person now..

faizal and myself.. are both in different schools now.. and its not easy for both him n me.. so if sumthing bad happens soon.. dun dun be surprised.. hah.. i am facing it with a huge smile.. than LOL..

i am sensitive and not undersanding.. at times.. oh no.. too sensitive.. in the so long period of a relationship.. or friendship.. no one evr say i was such.. jc.. sian..face the facts? yes i will.. see what im duin now? declaring to everyone.. alalala..

hrm... happy april fools dudes and dudettes.. tata n take care..

PS: There is no such thing as eternal love..

i am still with him la.. jus a bit pissed..

no title..

2005-03-31T23:30:00.000+08:00

i wish i am deaf, blind, mute.. i wish i am a peck of dust.. i wish im dead.. :(

Living out loud!!

2005-03-31T20:48:00.000+08:00

life has been such a bore for me that it got me thinking of so many things.. and i realized that the many friends i have .. have all moved on but i stayed on.. waiting for sumthing to happen.. haha.. what the hell.. thank god my sister gave me a bk last yr.. which i didnt touch.. only till now.. when i think i really need it.. its when no one is by my side.. not even faizal..cause he seemed to have left me behind as well.. oh well.. ive learnt alot.. here is one quote..

The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware. - Henry Miller

all i need is to tell myself that i cannot depend on ly friends too much, i have depended on them for so long for my happiness, now when they seem to vanish.. i jus have to search within.. and find myself..

At the center of your being you have the answer, you know who you are and you know what you want. - Lao Tzu

i may feel very alone now.. but i think i would get back on my two feet soon. two very impt ppl walked out of my life.. but.. i dun think.. they are anymore impt.. take care all..

im back... after so long.. yoohoo!!

2005-03-22T20:34:00.000+08:00

its all bout work.. n crap.. haha.. after so many days of searching.. n wasting my time.. i still havent got a job.. i did laz.. for bout 2 days. but.. yucks.. they wanto train us.. but yet dun tell the pay n its selling magnetic bed pads.. hrem.. all the best to those hired to work there.. yew.. refer to.. www.baller_princess_rox.blogspot.com for more details. haha..they made we wear office clothes! argh.. almost died.. but i bought a pair of flats which looks sweet in my opinion.. love it. haha..

ok.. today was posting results.. n i got poseted to np.. yeahz.. logistics mgmt.. i dun realli know whats tt.. but i guess i can learn.. though im still really keen on nautical studies. yeah.. i wanto learn bout ships.. i wanto.. sail n i wanto gain experience from all over the world. hahz.. n if i can.. join the navy. but.. nope.. tts jus not my choice to decide.. haiz.. anw.. its ok.. at least i know what courrse. some of my friends still duno.. n i hope they have a course soon.. many of my friend's are goin to jc.. pjc rather. i cant help thinking tt we're drifting. we definitely are. i am the kind tt cherish friendships to the extent tt i get paranoid for nth. while my friends dun.. know. yeah.. but i will get it over.. jus hafta keep myself busy. somtimes.. the first move has to be made by someone.. n not everybody wait for everybody else.

faizal is going to jjc.. n i hope he will focus there.. i bet he will.. haha.. he is one independent n smart guy.. somemore got soccer as an incentive for him.. way to go sayang! if anything happens.. we will still always be best buddies.. righty?? right..

what huh.. oh ya.. nurulia .. thanks for being a friend with me the last few weeks.. it seems we are always together.. hahz..

yeps.. fortunatley.. i have ventures.. if not i would be bored to death.. they haf many events n activities on.. hah.. n i haf many great pals there.. hu r lame.. well.. the fox scout grp is lame.. yeah.. erm.. like this thurs.. we have bbq with the zss scouts.. n 2nd april.. although i would very much wanto go.. avril lavigne's concert.. think i'll attend.. smss campfire.. haz.. yeah..we learn to built structures like the hour glass.. n i got roasted.. i tell u... im black now.. okie.. dark brown.. ahaz.. but i dun gif a damn.. i like the feeling after the strucutre is done.. haha.. sense of team acheivement..yah..

then besides tt, i laugh alot at work too.. pizza hut cuz.. ive got friends there too.. come to think bout it.. in the past.. 4 mths or so, i made friends from.. boon lay fact., promoter, MI, ventures and pizza hut.. haha.. then may got the poly peeps.. smooth.. hah.. kk la gtg..

regards to everyone out there.. whether poly or jc! study very hard.. but.. rmb.. health is ur onli wealth.. so take care!

shacked.. or.. shagged.. or.. slacked???

2005-03-15T22:56:00.000+08:00

hey, im back from jobweek camp!! cai er.. was right.. he said it would be off alot of fun.. n it absolutely was... i made many more friends... and am happy bout it.. think i would say tt we could click well with.. our female seniors.. tts harmony.. haha.. when females hate each other... i duno what to say.. er hem..

okie.. job week is all bout knockin doors n asking for jobs to du.. then exchange it for a fair amt of money.. well.. gerls r not allowed to du it.. so i dunr ealli know.. the tension or.. nervousness involved.. but i did experience going around. first day, i was attached.. to three little cadet scouts.. they are polite to a certain extend.. n naughty to a huge extend.. hah.. but they were cute la.. esp, matthew law..cute little guy with a mature sense of..em.. talkin ah.. he is so matured.. then i diidnt believe he was onli 10 yrs of age.. it was extensively.. energy draining.. all the walkin.. n trying to gather the boys like a herd of sheeps.. only these are super active ones..

the second day wasnt so bad.. i was attached to one malay guy.. anta.. he was very innocent n cute as well.. n it was shis first day.. he was kneen on winning a friend in their jobweek earnings.. and pushed himself alot.. i went with his flow.. when i asked if he was tired.. he said no.. and tt it was alot of fun. in the end he managed to beat the friend.. his frien.. gordon earned a total of.. $111 plus in two days and.. he $117 inn jus a day. boy was i proud of him.. hah.. of course.. i brought him to cashew .. where i knew tt not much scouts would think of combing.. haha.. yea!!

third day?? i learnd.. pioneerin and am proud to announce.. me diyanah, soopei n doreen.. built.. a tripod.. which we sat on.. took pics of it.. take from joanne then i publish in blog ya??! n we built a flag pole.. it was alot of fun and i love tyin knots.. onli.. the sun factor.. cuz i perspire easily.. haha.. then.. tts bout it.

yeps.. kk gtg now
tata.. take care all ventures!

shacked.. or shagged.... or.. slaacked...

2005-03-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

...

2005-03-09T20:38:00.000+08:00

This is just me and my life again, I wonder what’s going to change in the future. I may not have everything now but I may have everything later, or I may have nothing. The future is not certain for everyone, which does not just leave me to the problem. I am not alone, nobody is ever alone. Even the rare or the seldom has companions, only too far away. I am neither a writer nor a poet, all I do is listen to the music and go where life takes me too, do I have much of a choice? I am just a teenager whose decisions are not mine to make. The older ones decide and shape my life, do I like that route? Or am I just following blindly? Do I have a choice to rebel? I do, but what will come out of it? Nothing comes out of everything, there is no reason to argue and cause the unnecessary tension. Internet is my past time but when parents do not foot the bill, your past time disappears. See how everything lies in their hands? I can take revenge so called, but I am not a mean lady. I show gratitude to them for shaping my life till the way I am today. The way I understand how they are shaping the rest of my life. The way I understand that an F9 to a B3 grade for additional mathematics is a little mini achievement for me.

Hmm.. so formal. Well, I actually want to blog but my internet has no connection cause my mother did not pay the bill. But it doesn’t really matter. Alright, don’t ask me where I am going, going to poly. Singapore poly, taking nautical studies for DAE and business administration as first choice for JAE. Ok, gtg now.

heya!!

2005-03-08T22:45:00.000+08:00

its been a long long time since i blogged.. but hu cares.. i wanto say i was busy.. but i wasnt exactly.. i was pretty frustrated with all the JAE and stuff.. i was kinda busy.. howeva, i didnt go to MI for tt period of time.. i dun haf to anymore.. cuz.. im going to a poly anyway.. yaya..

erh.. n whats more.. hrm.. erm.. i erh.. haf job week camp this wkend all thru till tuesday.. then ya.. lr..ventures keep me busy haha.. at leat i dun haf to laze and become wider.. u know what i mean.. ok u dun.. but thats better.. im also lookin for a better paying job.. pizza is not exactly the ideal one.. but i'll cont'd in pizza hut.. hahha..cuz ive got pretty good friends there.. yeah..

i hope poly.. gifs me a fufillin life.. im pretty upset that i wont get to taste or experience the life in jc.. and hearing my friends talk bout their life's in jc.. i am a little distress.. but all is not lost.. i guess.. its jus another kind of route for me. and its how i look at it.. its my point of view that counts.. a shabby lookin hut might look realli nice for a beggar.. but jus.. a shabby hut for the rich.. know what im trying to say?

heez... im trying to make sense.. ha.. oke la.. think i gtg now.. take care all..

heliz..

2005-03-01T20:32:00.000+08:00

i meant to say hello la.. but nvm im in a rush.. in yina house.. cannot use her com. so long mah right!! huge dilemma right now.. im not proud of my results la.. onli 20 pts.. but.. im happy i could get b3's for my maths!! yea!! now.. being at the borderline.. i haf no iddie to go to jc or.. poly. so plz help me out.. if u know what i can du..

also i am no longer single.. ahha.. i mean.. we're back.. so.okie.. congrats to those low pointers and cheer up for the high ones.. there are many choices out there.. yeps. take care all!! bye!

officially....!!! single.. hah.. n unavailable!

2005-02-15T11:47:00.000+08:00

yeps.... thats officially announcing.. haha.. well well.. it was a long n happy relationship.. until some monster came along.. but.. thanks to thee... i am single..! now.. if u come provokin me.. u blady monster... thou shall not be pardoned... hah.. u ruined my life..

n im not in sch again.. all drive is lost.. i jus pop right into bed when the alarm rings.. im like.. darn it.. school.. then i go back to slp.. results are goin to be out soon.. i don pon now.. i can neva pon again manz..

how did i survive valentines day?
thanks.. to a friend.. she was very consoling and.. had be thinking the whole day.. she didnt let me have a chance to think bout him.. thanks alot.. meiker!! and marina hu accompanied.. me when i was clueless as to.. where to go after sch.. it wasnt very comforting.. seeing couples all over the place though.. im proud though.. mk.. is still goin on strong with wei xian kor!! haha..

n i haf rocky for company.. though he cant talk... his eyes realli.. soothe me.. haha.. muacks rocky!! ok la.. gtg now..take care ppl.. gerls.. watch out.. tt guy may not be hu u think he is..